


The Galahad of the Galaxy

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Star Trek Incandescent Hearts [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: AU, Almost Crack, Almost Fluff, Alternate Universe - Greek Mythology, Angst and Humor, Angst and Romance, Bickering, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, First Kiss, First Time (Implied), Friendship, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Humor and Romance, Incandescent Hearts (Star Trek Series), Kolinar, M/M, Mount Olympus, Mythology - Freeform, Romance and Humor, Scheming Kirk, Slow Build, Snarky McCoy, greek goddesses, humor and angst, references to Greek mythology, romance and angst, spones - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-08-30 04:05:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8517832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: Jim Kirk's universe has been turned upside down.  All he wanted was for Spock and McCoy to stop their bickering and become better friends.  Encounters with crewmen of the Starship Gallant, though, have turned McCoy into a reluctant brawler.  Spock has left in a snit for Vulcan to undergo Kolinar.  Then a frustrated Sarek calls Kirk and McCoy demanding their help with a rebellious Spock.  In addition, Jim Kirk seems to be hearing voices. Has he at last found a woman whom he truly can't get out of his mind?  And doesn't want to?What Kirk wouldn't give for a straightforward battle with a Romulan.  Now that, he could understand!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anton Yelchin](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Anton+Yelchin).



> For our sweet Anton Yelchin. We've only just begun to miss him.

“Alright, people,” Jim Kirk was saying as he addressed the crew of the Enterprise, “we won those war games. Congratulations.” 

A distinct cheer rang through the rooms and along the corridors of the Enterprise. 

Kirk could hear echoes of it as he sat in the command chair on the bridge of his favorite Starship, and he had to grin. He couldn’t deny his crew their enthusiasm and their pride. Everyone had all done a good job. Kirk could understand the frustration of the losers, though. There, but for the grace of good luck and the intervention of all of the gods and goddesses on Mount Olympus, goes the crew and officers of the Enterprise. Skill had something to do with the win, also, and maybe the expertise of the Enterprise’s captain.

“Just remember to be gracious to the losers. They fought hard, also.” Kirk ended the announcement and turned to his second in command. “But that’s all the stinkers did,” he muttered.

“Indeed, Captain. And how did you reach the conclusion that they were ‘stinkers?’ Had they ingested some nourishment that would have generated that condition in their digestive systems? Were you subjected to odorous proof of that digestive upset?”

Kirk couldn’t help but grin. Spock was feeling his oats, too, and proving it by being something of a rascal. “You take our speech patterns too literally, Mr. Spock.”

“He takes everything too literally,” the man on the other side of Kirk grumbled. “What else can you expect from someone who has not been blessed with a full complement of good, old-fashioned Earthling genes? The man has no common sense.”

“And I am thankful for that blessing every day, Dr. McCoy,” Spock answered. 

McCoy held out his hand in supplication. “It’s an expression, you pointed eared hobgoblin! An idiom, if you will!”

“Indeed?” Spock asked dryly, but his quick look at Kirk showed that he had understood the words all along. 

Kirk’s eyes twinkled. He knew that Spock was just egging McCoy on, but he went along with Spock’s ploy. Spock was just baiting McCoy. In a moment, he would strike and would once again reel in a McCoy left dangling on the end of his hook and sputtering in rage.

The banter between Kirk’s two friends was highly entertaining and diverting and more than welcomed after the intense war games. There had been nothing playful in those games, and Kirk was happy that they were over. Thank goodness, they had also been successful.

Spock‘s one eyebrow arched. “I assure you, Doctor, my sense is anything but common.”

Kirk grinned. Strike! McCoy was left dangling on the end of Spock’s line.

But McCoy, as always, had a comeback. He rolled his eyes. “Conceited! I knew it! Conceited! And that‘s an emotion, Vulcan!”

“It is a sin, Doctor,” Spock said with a great amount of patience. “I believe you are searching for the emotion involving confidence. Now that is an emotion.”

“It’s the same thing!”

Spock shrugged. “Perhaps.”

“Then, why are we arguing?!”

“I am not arguing. I am simply stating facts. While, you, on the other hand--” He shrugged and let his voice trail off.

“Jim! I ask you! Have you ever heard anything so exasperating?!”

Kirk was laughing, but managed to answer. “No, I haven’t.” He shot a look at Spock and saw Spock’s smug face. Spock had let McCoy win that time. Spock’s cleverness came when McCoy did not realize that he had won. And by agreeing with McCoy, Kirk was abetting Spock, bad boy that Kirk was. He enjoyed teasing McCoy, also. And it was all in good fun and friendship.

“Gentlemen, I suggest that we meet for dinner after our shifts and then resume our discussion in my quarters. Is that agreeable with everyone?”

Of course, they agreed. They were friends. Where else would they be, if not together?

 

The topic had, of course, changed by the time the threesome met in Kirk‘s quarters. Kirk was always amazed about how Spock and McCoy could find new subjects to discuss, and this evening was no exception. Kirk couldn’t even remember how they had gotten to where they were in the present conversation.

Spock was expounding. “Vulcan was particularly favored by the importation of great educators from Earth. Amanda Grayson was herself one of these pioneers in education and taught her unique theories which are now widely accepted on Vulcan. It was quite a radical and courageous method of advancing one‘s viewpoint, but she impressed the elders of the planet in general and my father in particular.”

“Amanda Grayson, you say?” McCoy questioned with a frown. “You mean, your mother?”

“Yes.”

“Come on, Spock,” McCoy chided. “It’s alright to claim her. I know that she claimed you. Why, I‘ve even heard her with my own ears. She called you ‘son,‘ and everything. She even had a look of pride in her eyes as she looked at you, too. Brave woman, that. Wonderful, in fact, in so many ways. She had a way about her, you know? She always made someone else feel comfortable and special. Too bad her son didn‘t take after her.”

“Yes, she had many great qualities,“ Spock agreed with a sigh, overlooking McCoy's slur. “Regretfully, however, she was not Vulcan.”

“Well, we can’t be blessed with everything now, can we?“ McCoy almost winked at Kirk. “But I believe you‘re mistaken about her, Spock.”

Spock frowned. “Oh?”

“I choose to look upon her not being Vulcan as a plus in her favor.”

“I do not understand, Doctor.”

“It means that you’ve got some of our good Earthling genes, after all. That‘s all for your advantage and benefit.”

“Regretfully,” Spock responded with a sigh, “I also have inherited the erratic emotional patterns of you Earthlings.”

“If it’s any consolation, Spock,” McCoy said confidentially as he leaned in toward the Vulcan with a conspiratorial air, “they hardly ever show.”

“Regretfully, I cannot control them all the time.”

“I just look upon that as meaning that there’s hope for you yet.”

“I can hardly agree with you, Doctor.”

“If you did, it would frighten me. I’d think I was slipping, for sure.”

“Hardly a worthwhile goal for you, Doctor.”

“It depends on the angle of your viewpoint.”

“Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Enough!” Jim Kirk begged. He had listened to their snipping at each other for sometime now. It was beginning to interfere with his plans of getting quietly drunk.

“Come on, Jim, let your imagination run wild for once.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my imagination. My ears, maybe. But not my imagination.”

“Well, at least you have one. Or you’ve heard that they not only exist, but are a welcome asset for most of us to possess.”

“As you yourself said, Doctor,” Spock interrupted, “that only depends on the angle of your viewpoint.”

Kirk grinned. “He’s got you there, Bones.”

“Not yet! If you can’t feel sorry for you and me, Jim, at least pity his poor mother. Just imagine, no presentation of wilted wildflowers from a grubby-handed little boy with pointy ears and a heart filled with love for her behind the offering. No dressing up in uncomfortable clothing and going to Sunday School because that would have pleased her. No shameless displays of affection for her on the spur of the moment simply because his heart over-flowed with childish love for her. Think of all the restraint he must have practiced continually so she wouldn‘t be embarrassed by an unsightly outburst of tawdry emotions from him. Yes, sir, it must have done her maternal heart so much good! You must’ve been a thrill for her on Mother’s Day, too, Spock. Just imagine the opportunities for neglect that you must have been afforded then.”

“We did not partake in the observance of sentimental holidays such as you Earthlings celebrate.”

“Of course, you didn’t. What was I thinking? Why would you want to honor your mother? Just because she’s warm and supportive and understanding and beautiful is no reason to hold her above the rest of womanhood, is there?”

“I do hold her above the rest of womanhood.”

“And how does she realize that? Do you give her an extra high tilt of an eyebrow when she least expects it? How that must warm her mother’s heart! She must look forward to that potential display with bated breath.” He nodded with agreement. “Yes, sir, she must be so thrilled by her son with his marvelous powers of restraint.”

“I acknowledge her existence.”

“You also acknowledge the existence of meteorites and lightning bugs, don't you?”

Spock nodded with agreement. “They both light up the night sky in spectacular fashions. I do enjoy their radiance; yes. As I do my mother’s.”

“But do you make her feel special?!”

“She has always felt special. She has had my father’s high regard.”

“But you do not honor her on Mother’s Day?”

“I honor her on every day of the year, Doctor.”

“He’s got you there, Bones.”

McCoy grinned. “Yes, he does. And I don’t mind. I’m happy that he holds such a wonderful lady in awe and respect. I do, myself.”

Spock inclined his head in acknowledgement. “I thank you, Doctor. And I am happy that we have found something on which to agree.”

“It just means that your human side is showing up, despite how much you try to hide it.”

“You look upon that as a sign of a weakness in me, Doctor?”

“The opposite. There’s hope for you, yet, Spock. And I couldn’t be happier. It means that you have accepted us Earthlings and our pesky ways.”

“I have learned to tolerate you Earthlings. There is a difference.” Spock tried to hide the smugness that he was feeling, but didn‘t succeed. “The difference is in my degree of tolerance for you.”

McCoy glared at the Vulcan. “The difference is in OUR degree of tolerance for YOUR high-flown, prejudiced misconceptions of us!”

“Gentlemen! Shall we just say that we all practice tolerance?”

“Well, okay,” McCoy grumbled in assent as he turned away from Spock.

Spock merely placed his hands behind his back and raised an eyebrow. He was noncommittal.

“And shall we also say that a lot of that tolerance is based upon a mutual respect that we hold for one another?”

“Well, okay,” McCoy agreed again, looking back.

Spock merely shrugged.

“Maybe even that that tolerance could come from a friendship with each other?”

McCoy and Spock stared at Kirk. He was venturing into dangerous territory.

“Even that we like each other?”

“Captain--”

“Come, on, Jim, I wouldn’t go that far. You, yeah. Hell, yes! What's not to like? You're successful. You're fun. People gravitate towards you because they know you are where the action is. You need friends like a tree needs sap. And you let people know you need them. But him? Same tree. No sap? Dead tree. Simple as that."

"Now, Doctor, I do object to your equating me to a dead tree," Spock retorted.

"My story! My analogy!" McCoy snapped."You use analogies all of the time!"

"Mine make sense, however," Spock murmured.

McCoy opened his mouth to deliver another zinger, but Kirk held up his hand. "Gentlemen, gentlemen, I believe that you have each made your point quite clear."

"My point, Captain," McCoy snapped, " is that I like a little more positive feedback from a friend. I don't get much of that from him."

"You will receive it when you deserve it and have earned it, Doctor," Spock explained.

"I wasn't aware that we were Boy Scouts trying to earn Merit Badges around here!" McCoy snapped back.

"How astute, Doctor. I believe that 'Boy' Scouts does cover the subject succinctly," Spock replied with a haughty look and a calm voice.

McCoy's eyes blazed. "Why, you green-blooded hobgoblin!"

"You do resort to name calling when you run out of appropriate arguments, don't you? And in the meanwhile, you apparently missed the fact that I did give you a compliment. I said that you were astute in using the term 'Boy' Scouts."

"That's no compliment and you know it, you--"

"Gentlemen! Gentlemen!" Kirk begged with an upraised hand and a chuckle. Those two were in rare form today! "Please! My sides are hurting now from laughing!"

McCoy smiled in triumph. "The more he talks, he more he proves my point. The Vulcan isn't very outgoing." He motioned toward Spock. "And he's like trying to cuddle up to a stone fence in wintertime. You don't get much warmth from it, either." He thought a moment. “But back to your original point, Captain. You say that you can see that Spock and I are friends. Okay, Jim, I recognize that you’ve got an imagination. But it’s really working overtime now. Him and me liking each other, bah! I don‘t where you come up with that!”

Spock simply looked regal and aloof and very bored with the conversation.

Kirk shrugged. “Well, it was worth a try.”

“I’ve got my reasons. For example, I like getting a response when I say something,” McCoy mumbled. “Saying something to him,” he said as he nodded toward Spock, “is like talking to a tree.” He reconsidered. “I’m sorry. I realize that I just insulted trees. They do have the decency to nod occasionally, only if it’s just the wind that stirs them to respond.” He glared at Spock. “At least, they do manage to respond!”

“Excuse me, Doctor, but I believe that I did give you a response.”

“Eh?” McCoy questioned with a frown.

“A negative response, granted. But a response, just the same.”

Kirk grinned. “He’s got you there, Bones!”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it!”

Spock continued to look smug.

“Aha!” McCoy exclaimed with satisfaction.

Spock’s smugness turned into a frown.

“Aha, what?” Kirk questioned.

“That look of smugness on the Vulcan‘s face! That’s self-righteousness, you pointed-eared hobgoblin! That’s right up there with pride as being a sin! Don’t look now, but your emotions are showing!”

“Sins. Emotions. There is a difference, Doctor,” Spock continued in his tired voice.

“But neither one is supposed to be something good to have, according to you! And you in your perfect world should be eliminating them!”

“He’s got you there, Spock,” Kirk admitted.

Spock breathed deeply. “It would appear that he does. I do apologize, gentlemen, for my errant display of erratic emotions.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me, Spock,” McCoy offered. “I like you a little bit better when you do bend the rules some and act wicked. It gives me the crazy idea that there’s a person in there, after all.”

“I assure you, Dr. McCoy, that there is indeed a person inside my skin.”

“Well, I won’t tell if you don’t want me to,” McCoy said in a confidential voice. “It’ll be our dirty little secret. And Jim won’t tell, either. That’s what friends are for.”

“Indeed,” Spock answered in a bored voice while Kirk tried to keep a straight face. “I thought friends were for seeing that you got home after a particularly lengthy night of heavy drinking.”

“That, too. Especially that. It’s called ‘having each others’ back.’ It’s the old buddy system. Try it sometimes.”

“I do,” Spock said with a sigh. “It seems that I am always hauling you or Jim around after you have become inebriated.”

“Tell you what. The next time you get drunk, I’ll see that you get safely into your own little nest. I'll even tuck you in.”

“I do not drink hard liquors.”

“Alright. The next time you’re high on chocolate, then. I do know that you indulge in that weakness.”

Spock‘s face softened. “I do admit to having a special fondness for high quality chocolate, the kind that for centuries has been produced in Earth’s country of Switzerland. I do get carried away sometimes and do not monitor my consumption adequately.” He glanced at Kirk and McCoy. “I would, indeed, appreciate guidance from you gentlemen at those times.”

“Oh, the next time you’re high on chocolate, I’ll take care of you, alright. Don’t worry about that.”

Spock accepted McCoy’s vow on face value, but Kirk was skeptical. He didn’t say anything, but he wondered how McCoy was going to be taking care of Spock. 

Maybe Kirk could take advantage of this scenario, himself. He began to scheme later when he was by himself in his quarters.

“What are you planning, James?” asked a seductive voice.

“Oh, hello, there, Irene. I suppose you’ve been listening?”

“How could I not help but hear you, my dear? Living here in your head lets me be privy to all of your thoughts and transactions, between friends, enemies," she said, then sighed, "women by the dozens.”

“Hmm, yes. I hope you don’t blush too hard.”

“Oh, there are times, James, when I could wash your mouth out with lye soap or spank your little bum.”

His grin was sexy as he considered that scenario. “Promises, promises.”

“That’s the problem, James,” she said with exasperation. “You would enjoy your punishment too much. Now, what is this plan you are hatching concerning Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy?”

“I just want them to modify their bickering and become better friends. I’d like to help them along a little with peaceful coexistence, that's all.”

“James,” she warned. “You know you shouldn‘t interfere.”

“I thought you would understand, if anyone would. Being as how you are the goddess of peace and all.”

“Don’t throw that up against me, James.”

“It’s the reason why you are the goddess of choice in my head, isn’t it? Well, you are rather lovely to look at, too. The classical woman, Greek and aloof. I bet you aren‘t always so aloof, are you? At least I see you rather compliant in the bedroom. Such a vision you are! My ideal.”

“James! You can only see me when you look in a mirror!”

Kirk laughed.

“Narcissus should be here instead of me,” Irene grumbled. “He would be more appropriate since you are so in love with yourself.”

“Hey, don’t blame me! Zeus sent the god or goddess that best depicted me. Apparently, he saw me as a great peacemaker. My conceit must’ve not impressed him as much as it did you.”

“He hasn’t lived in your head, Lo, these many months.” She brightened. “And maybe he thought I would just be a good influence on you, James.”

“Hey. Can’t argue with that.”

“And I still believe that you shouldn’t interfere with Spock and McCoy.”

“What’s the harm of throwing them together more? Maybe between having to rely on each other and the influence of familiarity, they will learn to get along better.”

“I can introduce you to a whole regimen of gods and goddesses from Mount Olympus who had the same idea about letting mankind on Earth gain more knowledge about themselves and their world. Mankind left Mount Olympus behind, and we’re merely thought about as myths now.”

“Only the unlucky,” Kirk teased. “I know better. I know the beautiful Irene exists. You’ll always have a place in my head. And my heart.”

“Oh, James, you are a smooth talker. You could talk a goddess down from Mount Olympus. Which you did.”

“Which I did, my beauty. And don’t you forget it.”

“Why should I, James T.? You give me life.”


	2. Chapter 2

It should never have started, let alone progressed to its present level of hostilities. But there stood Dr. Leonard McCoy with blue fire blazing out of his eyes, and a group of five burly men from the Starship Gallant laughing at the anger they had stirred in him. Other patrons in the saloon on Narsarya B were casually watching the drunken exchange with a mixture of interest ranging from boredom to excitement. Potential barroom brawls always brought out the voyeurs. 

But one steely-eyed observer watched with mounting concern. McCoy was greatly outnumbered and apparently too drunk to realize it. Spock made his move. It was time he intervened before McCoy really got himself in trouble. Kirk was wise to have sent Spock with McCoy. If this scene was any indicator, the doctor indeed needed a keeper. And Spock would do the duty assigned to him. But he most certainly would mention McCoy’s indiscretion to the good doctor later and ask him to explain the logic behind his decision to draw attention to himself against such impossible odds.

“Dr. McCoy, our business here is finished,” Spock said to McCoy as he walked up to him. “I have gotten the information I needed. Regrettably, the task took longer than I anticipated. But now it is time that we were leaving. Captain Kirk is waiting for our report.” From across the barroom, he had been watching the ‘discussion’ that McCoy had been having with the crewmen from the Gallant. He did not like the hostile looks between the weaving McCoy and the drunken men sitting at the table. And the situation deteriorated further the closer Spock had neared the angry group until the air was filled with a palatable hostility. "Let us leave now."

“In just a minute, Spock. I’m talking to these--” McCoy gave the men a stripping glance. “--gentlemen. They’ve got their facts wrong. I’m merely trying to educate them about the superiority of the Enterprise and her crew.”

Spock saw the surly looks leveled at McCoy. “That was already been determined by the recent war games, Dr. McCoy. We need to be leaving NOW.”

“In just a minute, Spock.”

“Hey, McCoy. Better listen to your babysitter here. It’s past your bedtime.”

“Now, wait a minute, Higgins--”

“Yeah, only McCoy would have a nanny with pointed ears!” Davis chimed in.

“Maybe that’s how McCoy hangs on to him!” Hunter added with a snort of mocking laughter.

“You don’t say anything about his ears!” McCoy declared hotly as he took a step toward the table in anger. 

“Doctor. It is alright.“ Spock touched his arm and stopped him.

“They should just shut up about your ears, that’s all,” McCoy mumbled.

“Why not?” asked the man who seemed to be the ringleader, an engineer named Higgins. “You say plenty about his ears. About his blood being green, too.”

“That‘s different.”

“How?” the man asked. 

It was a reasonable question, but McCoy didn‘t see it that way. “Forget his ears! He can't help how he looks! His physiognomy is not to be discussed in a saloon!“

“Then his blood can be?“

Once again it was a reasonable question, and once again McCoy didn’t see it that way. “Nothing about his physical appearance, or any part of him, is open for discussion in here!“

“Doctor. This is a ridiculous conversation. Let us leave now.“

“It is not ridiculous! I will not have you slandered in this manner!“

“Doctor. It is neither slanderous nor is it offensive to me. These men are simply trying to badger you into a fight. Do not let them succeed.“

“These men are insulting you, you green blooded idiot! And I won’t have it!“

“Oh, oh, watch out, guys!“ Davis warned. “The little banty rooster is getting worked up. We might have a fight on our hands. He’ll be more than we can handle.“

“Oh, no!“ Hunter roared with laughter. “I’m getting s-scared!“

“Me, too!” Higgins agreed. “The Galahad of the Galaxy is making me shiver with fear!”

“What did you call me?!”

“Dr. McCoy. Please.“

McCoy looked at him. Spock finally had his attention. “The ‘please’ word?“

“Yes, Doctor,“ Spock said with exasperation. “There are five of them, and we are but two.”

“Two for you, three for me. Sounds even to me.”

The men at the table hooted with laughter.

Spock eyed them with suspicion, then turned back to McCoy. “Doctor. The logistics are in their favor. Please realize that.“

“The ‘please’ word again, McCoy. Your Vulcan is getting scared.“

That did it. “My Vulcan is scared of nothing!“

Spock looked pained. “Doctor, please. Do not make a statement like that. I fear many things. Asteroids out of orbit. Romulans when they are drunk. Plants shooting poison darts. A shortage of chocolate. Any irate schoolteacher. Tribbles breeding uncontrollably on the Enterprise. Your not listening to me when I say that it is time for us to leave this establishment. But I suppose that concern is moot now.”

McCoy frowned at him. “What are you babbling about?”

“So, he is your Vulcan?“ Higgins wanted to know.

McCoy glared back at Higgins. “He’s his own man!“

“Not from what I hear. You and he and Kirk are all pretty tight with each other.”

“We’re friends!”

Higgins glanced at his buddies to make sure they were all listening. “Oh, is that what they call it now?”

The table hooted with laughter.

“Tell them, Spock! Tell them that we’re friends!”

“Being friends isn’t the point here, McCoy!” Higgins yelled. “You have to prove that you have the right to say ‘just’ friends!”

McCoy’s mouth dropped open with understanding. “Take that back!”

“Dr. McCoy, we did not need to justify ourselves to them.”

“Oh, yes, you do, you pointed eared bastard!” Hunter yelled. “Don’t you know what you three have just been called?! And that’s on top of the fact that your ‘friends‘ have lowered themselves by associating with an inferior being like you! After all, you're just a half-breed alien.”

Spock grabbed McCoy’s arm to stop the angered McCoy from advancing as the table erupted in laughter again.

“You should be ashamed of yourselves!” McCoy chided with flashing eyes. “That’s prejudice in its lowest form. This Vulcan is a credit to Starfleet and to mankind in general. We’d all be better people if we tried to pattern ourselves after him. He’s gracious and refined and principled. Shame on you for calling him those names.”

“Doctor,” Hunter said softly. “It’s exactly what you call him. Well, maybe not the half-breed alien slur, but the others you do. And often.”

McCoy’s eyes dropped open and his face blanched of color.

“Yeah, McCoy. Why do you have to say about that?” Higgins demanded.

“Well, I, I, don’t mean it the way you make it sound.”

“It’s exactly the way you make it sound, McCoy. Stop correcting other people, and mend your own fences with the alien. Sounds like you’re not much of a friend to him. Sounds like he‘s not ready to claim you, either. I don‘t blame him.”

“Our friendship does not need defending here,” Spock spoke up. “But if it did--”

“Spock--”

“I would say that it is in fine shape.” He looked at McCoy. “Is that not right, Doctor?”

“Well, I--” McCoy grinned, happy that Spock had finally acknowledged that they were friends. “Sure. That’s right. We’re friends.” He got daring. “Good friends.”

“Look!" Hunter yelled. "See the stars sparkling in their eyes?! They’ve discovered love! At long last, love! They’re going to start kissing on each other now! And we're going to get to watch!”

McCoy glared at the table, sputtering.

“Doctor--”

“But--”

“They are just baiting you.” He took McCoy’s arm.

“Listen to your nanny now, McCoy!" Higgins yelled. "Maybe, if you‘re a really good little boy, he‘ll have a extra special treat, all for you.”

“Maybe McCoy likes an alien lover!”

“Yeah, who would care what the guy’s ears look like then? In the dark, all ears are the same!”

“Hell, in the bedroom, ears aren’t the important thing!”

“And I understand that Vulcans are well hung! What a treat for McCoy!”

“Yeah, if the ears are any indication! Whoopee! McCoy, are you in store for a special treat from your special nanny! Spread it wide! Have him use lots of lube!”

McCoy started for the table, but Spock grabbed him again.

“Doctor--“

“I’ve heard just about enough of this! All that is important is that Spock is a good person! And as for his ears, he can’t help having them!”

“Why not?! Didn’t his mama see it coming?!”

“Yeah! I understand that those Vulcan guys make it real pleasurable for Earth women! Those gals don’t mind at all! They can spread wide, too! Spock‘s mother must‘ve!”

“Now, you just wait a minute!” McCoy ordered. “Don’t you be talking that way about that gracious lady!”

“Why?! Is she your mama, too?!”

“Could be! Maybe she couldn’t make up her mind between Vulcans and Earthlings!”

“That’s enough!” McCoy declared.

“Doctor. We must leave.”

“Spock! It’s your mother they are slurring!”

“My mother needs no defending from the likes of these--” He gave the grinning men a writhing look. “--gentlemen.”

“Spock--”

Spock sternly glared at him. “Come on, Dr. McCoy. Now.”

“Oh, boy! McCoy just got ‘the look.’ Guess he knows what that means! He’s getting it in the ass tonight, for sure! Sure hope you got lots of lube on hand, Doc! I bet your Vulcan is built like a bull elephant and performs like a jack hammer! Make sure you lie real still and spread your ass extra wide for him! And mew real pretty for him, too. I bet he likes to hear you panting and begging for it! And offer to lick it a lot if there‘s no lube handy! He looks like he wouldn‘t have much patience if you don‘t suck it just right for him! Be real sweet to each other tonight, ladies! Pleasure each other nicely!” Higgins made kissing sounds, then joined in the laughter of his buddies.

McCoy gave Spock a pointed look. “Heard enough now?”

Spock rolled his eyes and sighed, “I suppose.“

That’s when McCoy and Spock turned as one, upset the table onto the five men from the Gallant, and sent them sprawling every which way. That’s the last time in that fight that they were at an advantage, though. After all, it was five to two.

And the fight did not improve in grandeur when viewed in retrospect and the cold light of day.

“Care to fill me in, gentlemen?” Kirk asked the next morning as he paced around his quarters and stopped to look at the two men as they stood together at parade rest in front of him. Spock had dark green bruises on both of his high cheekbones, and various skinned places marred his face. McCoy's face matched Spock's except his bruises were dark red and one of his eyes was swelled half-way shut. Hard telling what injuries that their long-sleeved and high-necked uniforms hid. Spock looked noncommittal, but McCoy looked pissed off and unruly enough to recommence the fistfight at any moment. Neither appeared to have had any sleep or medical attention, and a night in jail probably had not offered them much relaxation or aid, either. Their creature comforts needed soothing, but Kirk wasn‘t going to let them off because of that. Not for awhile, at least.

“It was just a difference of opinion, Captain,” McCoy answered.

“Just a difference of opinion, hmm? That’s not what the captain of the Gallant told the court. He said that you two just suddenly upended the table on his men.”

“I expect they said that they had been peacefully sitting there minding their own business when Spock and I attacked them, too.”

“Something like that. Any truth to that?”

“They had been sitting there,” McCoy answered. “That part of it is true.”

“And they reached out and grabbed you?”

“Well, I had been walking past,” McCoy admitted. “And then they hailed me.”

“And engaged you in a debate.”

“Yes, sir. A debate.”

“And Spock witnessed this ‘debate’ and offered his assistance with a difference of, ah, syntax from the other gentlemen‘s, I suppose."

"Yes, sir. Syntax."

"And Spock was merely acting in a learned advisory position for you," Kirk continued as he studied his two errant officers, "in this nonpartisan discussion of opposing theories that was somehow developing between two diverse viewpoints.”

“Something like that; yes.”

“Then you defended Spock’s mother.”

“You were there?” McCoy asked in awe as he looked up at Kirk.

“No. I’m just imaging what happened. And, someone did mention that Spock’s mother had been brought up in the discussion.”

“Damned right, she had been! And that wasn’t right.”

“No, it wasn’t, Bones.” He stopped and looked intently at McCoy. “But it was not right that you two were brawling in a barroom, either. Next time, take your fight outside, gentlemen.”

“Sir?”

“The bar owner complained, Bones. He’s demanding restitution. The captain of the Gallant said that you guys started it.”

“Merely with our hands, sir,” Spock said, as he finally spoke up. “The men of the Gallant had initially started the controversy with their mouths.”

“Not according to the men of the Gallant. They claim that McCoy came by, just looking for trouble, and accosted them.”

“Really, Captain?“ Spock asked with sarcasm dripping off his words. “One scrawny doctor struck fear in the hearts of five burly men? I was not aware that we had such a well known menace serving aboard the Enterprise.” 

“Now, wait a minute, Spock, I'm not exactly scrawny--”

“That’s okay, Bones. I want to hear what Mr. Spock has to say on this matter. Go on, Mr. Spock. What does this scenario of McCoy against five of the Gallant crew tell you, and anyone who might eventually hear about the incident?”

“If one scrawny doctor creates such fear," Spock said and ignored McCoy's dramatic sigh and eye roll toward the ceiling, "I would be very impressed with the reputation and poweress of the rest of the crew of the Starship Enterprise.” He shrugged. “And not with the crew of the Gallant. But, perhaps, the men of the Gallant simply frighten very easily. If that is the case, they must spontaneously hyperventilate at the mere thought of the dreaded Romulans, Captain.” 

“That’s not what happened at all, Spock--”

“It is how we can make it appear, Doctor." Spock looked at Kirk. "Right, Captain?”

Kirk crossed his arms in contented agreement. “Certainly, Mr. Spock.”

“You two are going to paint me as being the Galahad of the Galaxy!”

“The what? Of the what?“ Kirk questioned as he unfolded his arms.

“That is what he was named by one of the men at the bar,“ Spock explained. “I expect that title has spread throughout the galaxy by now.“

“Oh.“ Kirk nodded in understanding.

“And that just isn’t true, Jim! I’ll have a target on my back! Any gunslinger out there will be after me! I'll wind up as just a notch on somebody's sixshooter!”

“No, you won’t, Bones,” Kirk said as he narrowed his eyes. “If one small hair on your head is touched, nay, if one is even so much as ruffled in the breeze of anyone passing too closely to you, the whole crew of the Enterprise will mount up and back you. Led by,” he nodded at Spock, “your nanny. And me, of course.”

“I can see it coming," McCoy moaned. "I’m going to be the nucleus of an intergalactic war. Starfleet ships will be demolished in my name. The Romulans will probably want to make me a national hero. I’ll have a better hit record of Starfleet kills than they will. And what’s with this ‘Spock being my nanny’ business, anyway? I’ll be the laughing stock of the galaxy.”

“No, Bones, the crew of the Gallant has that honor. First, the Enterprise beats them at the war games. And now this. The Enterprise has a rogue doctor with a mean temper and a thirst for fist-fighting. His name is legendary. Behold! He is the undisputed Galahad of the Galaxy!”

“I’ll never live this down!” McCoy moaned. 

“No, Doctor,” Spock interrupted as he favored McCoy with a glance. “You should be pleased that your mere appearance would strike fear in the hearts of those men.” He looked at Kirk. “And I assume that the men of the Gallant testified that I made an appearance only to insure that Dr. McCoy did not injure the five men too severely?” he asked in a dry voice. 

Kirk had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing outright, but he knew that his eyes were twinkling. “Something like that. I convinced the captain, however, that it was better for him to make his men pay for damages than to have it spread around the galaxy that ‘one scrawny doctor had struck fear in the hearts of five of his burly men,’ as you so succinctly put it, Mr. Spock.” He studied the tired, bruised, but contented and united pair. "Okay, get out of here, the both of you. Go get cleaned up and patched up and rested up. Then go eat something and sleep some more. We have to keep you two in fighting form, it seems. First the war games, and now this. Let's see the Gallant's crew get past us now."

Kirk managed to keep from grinning until the two had left his quarters. Despite what the captain of the Gallant had demanded, Spock and McCoy were Kirk’s officers and members of his crew. Kirk was not going to punish them for defending themselves. And he sure as hell was not going to punish them for defending each other. To Kirk, that was a huge plus and worth any trouble that the two might incur. It was more important to Kirk that they got to be friends. And it looked like, slowly but surely, that was happening.

He glanced smugly in the mirror. “Told you, Irene. They're getting to be a team now.”

“Oh, James, do stop gloating. It so mars that pretty face of yours.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“No, James, I’m exasperated.”

“Go back to Mount Olympus, then. It’s more fun here, though.”

“Yes, James, that’s why I’m here. The fun.”

Kirk smiled. “That’s what I thought.” He paused. “Never leave me, Irene.”

“Never, James.”

What Kirk did not realize was that Spock and McCoy had not told him everything that had happened to them, especially during the night they had spent together in that cold cell in the jail.

Spock awoke and saw that the cell was turning gray with the early morning light that was just beginning to seep into windows so high above the line of vision that prisoners could not see outside their prison. He felt amazingly toasty after being so chilly when he’d tried to get to sleep so many weary hours ago. And then he realized why he was warm. He was covered with not one, but both, of the thin blankets issued to him and McCoy.

He looked across the shadowy room and saw McCoy huddled on the other cot, curled in the fetal position. McCoy’s arms were crossed and his hands were thrust under his arm pits for whatever warmth he could find there. Even in his sleep, McCoy seemed to be shivering.

Spock frowned. McCoy had given him his blanket, in spite of the cold that McCoy knew he would have to endure.

Spock pulled himself off his cot, carried the blankets to McCoy’s cot, and draped them over the sleeping man. He gently pulled them up over McCoy’s shoulders and saw McCoy snuggle into the new warmth he suddenly felt.

McCoy stirred and opened his eyes to find Spock hovered over him with his hands on McCoy‘s shoulders. Then McCoy saw the blankets on himself and felt the warmth from them.

“What the--”

“Go back to sleep, Doctor,” Spock said softly. “It is not yet full morning.”

“Take the blankets back. You’ll get cold. You feel the cold quicker than I do.”

“I appreciate what you did by covering me, Doctor, but I have slept long enough. You take the blankets now.”

McCoy sat up. “You could at least rest awhile longer. Your body needs to recuperate from that fight. The jailers should have allowed us rudimentary medical aid until we could get back to the Enterprise. We could get healed in a matter of moments in Sickbay. Now, we‘ll be stiff and sore longer.”

“I believe that the jailers were not highly interested in our comfort. I believe that we extended our fight from the crewmen of the Gallant to the local police, and the jailers have objected to their friends getting injured.”

“You mean that I extended the fight to their policeman friends, don't you? The jerks should have identified themselves if they didn‘t want to get busted up, too.”

“Whatever the analysis, the situation did not warrant any restraint or pity from the police or jailers. I believe that one of us could have been displaying signs of a broken arm or a concussion, and no medical attention would have been forthcoming. I can see justification for their anger and desire for revenge, though.”

McCoy scowled. “Go ahead and say it. I pissed them off, so they didn‘t help us. They should‘ve helped you, though, if you‘d been injured.”

“Sadly, I chose to back you up when the police entered the melee. They considered us allies.”

“Oh.”

“So nobody wanted to help either one of us.”

“I see.” Then McCoy grinned. “But it was one hell of a fight, though, wasn‘t it?”

Spock sighed. “It was that.”

McCoy started to separate the blankets. “At least take one blanket.”

Spock shook his head. “I will meditate while you sleep. Then it might be time for food to arrive or for our release to occur. After that appearance before the judge last night, it is a wonder that we are not going to be hanged at dawn this morning.”

“What was his problem, anyway? So, several of the police got roughed up, so what? They should expect that when Starship crews come into town. It‘s like the Old West in America when the cowboys rode into town after the cattle drive was completed and the cowboys wanted to blow off some steam. I can‘t believe these Narsaryans were so inhospitable to us last night. I thought these people loved us.”

“I believe it is difficult to love us when we bust up their bars and break bones of their people. They apparently take a dim view of either scenario.”

“A little thin-skinned, aren‘t they?”

Spock shrugged. “Their planet, their laws.”

“Can‘t beat logic like that. Now, back to the blanket situation. You need to take one. And I won‘t hear any argument.” McCoy frowned. “Your core body temperature shouldn’t be reduced any further than it has already been. You risk becoming ill.”

“I will be fine, Doctor. Really. I will meditate over here on the floor. It will relax me.”

“Well, if meditation is so helpful, I suppose I could get down on the floor and meditate with you.”

Spock looked skeptical. “You? Meditate?”

McCoy looked insulted. “Don’t look so wild! I can concentrate as long as you can!”

“Meditation requires more than concentration,” Spock explained patiently. “You have to empty your mind. Forget your anger.”

“Oh, don’t take on so! It can’t be that difficult. Come on!” McCoy made movements as if he was going to stand.

“I could not meditate the way I should. I would be trying to help you. All that would result in is the two of us sitting on a stone-cold floor and getting ill.”

“That's what I thought! It's cold down there on that floor! And you were willing to do just that, thus freezing your Vulcan ass clear up past your eyeballs! And that was supposed to happen while I lie up here asleep and toasty under two blankets! You can bet MY sweet ass that isn‘t going to happen, Vulcan! You can bet YOUR sweet ass on that!”

“My ass does not extend past my eyeballs.”

“Ass bone connected to the backbone, backbone connected to the neck bone, neck bone connected to the face bone, face bone connected to the eyeballs--” McCoy recited in a singsong fashion.

Spock frowned. “Just where was it again that you received your medical degree? Was it out of the back of some gypsy wagon that was passing through town in the middle of a dark night?”

“Ha! Ha! How funny!”

“Get under the blankets, and I will meditate on the floor.”

“And I’ll beat you down to that stone-cold floor! Whatever we do, we do together! So, there!”

“Stubborn--”

“That is my line.”

“Not anymore,” Spock mumbled. “Well, what are we going to do? I believe that we are in a stalemate with this togetherness option.”

“The togetherness option is that I am sitting up on this cot, and you are sitting beside me. And we are both going to stay warmer under two blankets.”

“What?!”

“I’ve got a plan.” McCoy jumped up, spread one blanket on the cot, sat down on the blanket, and patted the cot beside himself. “Sit! Now! No arguing!”

The Vulcan sat.

McCoy began scratching covers around them. “Now, we’re pulling this blanket up and letting it drape over our shoulders, so it is covering us from behind. See? Then, we’re spreading this other blanket over the top of us, so that just our heads are out. See? Better?”

“It is warmer.”

“We keep each other warm this way. Much better than freezing across the room from each other.”

“And, now?”

“And, now, we snuggle! You do know what snuggle is, don’t you?” McCoy neglected the slight flow of electricity he felt as he pushed himself against Spock’s side. Right now, he was interested only in keeping them warm, nothing else.

"I know what snuggle is, Dr. McCoy. Vulcans do snuggle.”

“Good,” McCoy muttered. “I didn’t want to have to explain the concept to you.” The air under the blankets did begin to feel pleasant. “See? Better?”

Spock sighed in contentment. “Much better than meditation.”

“You can meditate all you want when you get back to your room aboard the Enterprise with its handy thermostat that can be turned as high as you want it. Right now, you’re not going to jeopardize your health by chilling your internal organs.”

“Yes, Doctor. You were correct.” The Vulcan was beginning to sound groggy.

McCoy decided that Spock was half asleep. Otherwise, the Vulcan would never have agreed to any idea of McCoy’s.

The last thing McCoy was aware of was closing his eyes and slumping toward Spock‘s shoulder.

The first thing McCoy was aware of was the door of the cell clanging open. Then all sorts of bodily sensations bombarded him.

The main thing he experienced was that his head was leaning low against Spock’s chest, almost under an arm pit. Then he realized that his ear was on top of Spock’s heart and that its slow beating had been soothing him and helping him sleep. McCoy also became aware that he was breathing in the exotic scent of the Vulcan. He also felt Spock’s arms around him and Spock’s chin on the top of his head. The Vulcan had cocooned him in a circle of warmth and protection. It was like McCoy had his own personal space heater and ring of protection.

“Rise and shine, men of the Enterprise!" the jailer sang out. "Time to leave our luxury hotel!”

McCoy and Spock sprang apart, jumped to their feet, and stumbled half-asleep after the grumpy jailer with a black eye. McCoy seemed to remember him in the fist fight the night before. Didn’t the guy ever sleep?

Later, in Sickbay, after talking to Jim Kirk, McCoy and Spock received treatment for their bruises and injuries. The medical team didn’t say anything, but McCoy could tell that his coworkers were thinking plenty. The rumor mill would really be turning when he and Spock left Sickbay. But that wasn’t McCoy’s main concern.

“Do what Jim said,” McCoy said when their bodies were well on their way to a quick healing. “We need to get some proper rest, then good food, then more rest. We’re both on sick call today.”

“We will not be performing our jobs?”

“No, we will not!” McCoy snapped. “That can happen, once in awhile, Mr. Spock! We can sit out a day, and Life as we know it will continue! The universe will not collapse in on itself if we are not on duty! I know that! Jim knows that! You might as well realize it! Stuff happens! And sometimes, we just have to sleep it off! Got it?!”

“Got it,” Spock repeated, puzzled at McCoy‘s anger. He started to leave.

“Spock, ah, wait a minute.”

Spock turned back to McCoy.

“Look, I don’t mean to yell. I’m frustrated with me, not with you. I’m sorry I got you in a mess last night. I don’t mind it going on my record, I deserve it. But I will do anything I can to keep it off yours. It wasn’t your fault.”

Spock shrugged. “Perhaps not. But I was not going to stand back and let you face those men alone.”

“But you didn’t need to be in the mess in the first place. If I had listened to you, there would not have been a problem. And the situation would not have gotten blown clear out of proportion the way it did.”

“Perhaps not.”

“Why do you keep saying that?!”

“Because it is true. Leonard, you were my partner, and I was going to help you, no matter what. Understand? Right or wrong, I was with you. Understand?”

McCoy blinked in the face of such an adamant statement. “Well, yeah. I mean, gosh.”

“Such oratory, such handling of your language skills,” Spock mumbled. “Did you take speech at the same place in which you received your medical degree?”

McCoy wanted to laugh, he wanted to crow, but he forced a hard glare on his face for he felt that was what Spock wanted. “Stop horsing around, Commander! You’ve got your medical orders! Bed rest! Food! Bed rest! Now, hop to it!”

Spock fought a sly grin as he obeyed. At the door, he turned back to McCoy. “Meet for food in four hours?”

“And don’t be late, you hobgoblin!” McCoy roared.

McCoy watched the door close behind Spock and had to grin to himself. What a night he and Spock had had! Especially the hours together in the cell.

And why hadn’t they told Jim Kirk about those hours they‘d spent in the cold, lonely, dark cell with their only diversion and consolation being each other? Maybe those hours had been too personal and too private to share with even their commanding officer and friend.

Spock walked toward his quarters. How he needed to meditate! But he knew, also, that he needed to sleep. His body screamed for rest. But other parts of his body screamed for something else that he knew he couldn’t provide it. That fulfillment could only be furnished by the man he had just left, Dr. Leonard McCoy.

It was crazy, Spock told himself as he threw himself down onto his narrow bed. McCoy could not be his. This yearning in his body must cease. It was not meant to be.

Spock wrapped himself in his blankets. And while they were warm and fleecy, they did not replace the body that had so recently been nestled in Spock’s arms. For Spock had awakened before McCoy, and he was grateful for the time he got to spend with McCoy’s body relaxed and pliant in his embrace.

First, Spock had stroked McCoy’s arm that stretched around his body and that had hooked itself over Spock’s far arm. Spock found McCoy’s other hand between their bodies and rubbed his palm over McCoy’s palm. Electricity shot through Spock, and that awakening of passion amazed and intrigued Spock. Then he tried rubbing McCoy’s fingers with his own fingers, and more than electricity shot through him. Want and desire and, finally, fulfillment vibrated through Spock’s hand. McCoy must have felt some of the passion although asleep for he had moaned. Spock’s hand left McCoy’s and traveled to the part of McCoy’s cheek that was not against Spock’s chest. Spock cupped McCoy’s exposed face with his palm, and McCoy not only quieted, he smiled. McCoy sighed, rooted his face into Spock’s chest, sighed deeply again, and at last remained quiet. Spock stroked that face with his thumb and fingers for a long time as he studied that face. At last, he tucked that face into his chest, kissed the top of McCoy’s head, and went back to sleep himself. Never had he slept so well.


	3. Chapter 3

“Spock, you crazy idiot! Where are you?!” McCoy ran through the darkened alley, hearing the thuds of scurrying feet, knowing full well that most of the sounds weren’t coming from him. He’d seen the flash of a knife just a moment before in the dim light and knew that Spock had been in the general area of that weapon just a moment before.

“Spock!” McCoy hissed. “Are you lying here dead at my feet somewhere?! Answer me, you idiot!”

It was supposed to be just a routine reconnaissance mission to a remote Starfleet base, but nothing had been routine about this assignment so far. Kirk had split up the group, not knowing that crew members from the Gallant were also roaming the area. And McCoy and Spock had been lucky enough to stumble upon them. And, of course, it was Higgins and his men.

Spock stepped out of the shadows. “Well, Doctor. I see that you are still alive.”

“Spock! Where’s the guys from the Gallant?!”

The man who answered McCoy wasn’t Spock, though.

“Well, look here, guys, what Santy Claus left us in our stockings!” one of the burly men from the barroom fight announced as the group advanced on Spock and McCoy. “The Galahad of the Galaxy and his sweet cheeks nanny!”

“Now, wait a minute, Higgins!” McCoy started. “We’re on the same team here! None of us is a Romulan! They’re the bad guys, not us!”

“Oh! The Galahad of the Galaxy has spoken, and I’m quivering in my boots! Tell me, have you two decided yet who’s on top, or do you take turns?”

McCoy looked at Spock. “Well, hell, Spock. Five to two again. I believe that we tried to negotiate reasonably.”

Spock glanced around. “And we are outside. I believe that was the captain’s only stipulation about fist fights.”

“Have you ladies finished your tete-a-tete yet?” Higgins wanted to know.

“You better hope you don’t make us angry!” McCoy dared with a ferocious glare at the men from the Gallant.

“Dr. McCoy, may I advise that perhaps it would be more advantageous to negotiate with these men instead of antagonizing them?”

McCoy turned his glare on Spock. “And which one of them, pray tell, appears to you to be more in the mood to negotiate, Mr. Spock?” he grumbled. “Point that gentleman out, and I will be only too glad to try to negotiate with him.”

Spock studied the group. “Sadly, my summation of the situation closely agrees with yours.”

“How closely?”

Spock drew a deep breath. “Very closely, Dr. McCoy.”

“Oh, hell,” McCoy grumbled. “That’s what I was afraid of.” He took a deep breath. “Which do you suggest? Fight or flight?”

“Let’s get them, boys! They’re just standing there with their nuts in their hands!”

“I believe that decision has been made for us, Doctor,” Spock answered as he backed against McCoy’s back.

McCoy ignored the shot of electricity that Spock's backside caused his backside. “Oh, hell," McCoy muttered, "And just when I'd gotten this uniform clean, too."

 

“Captain! You made it back safely!“ Scotty greeted Kirk and his group as they materialized aboard the Enterprise.

“Yes. Romulans were down there. And somewhere crewmen from the Gallant. I sure hope Spock and McCoy didn’t run into Higgins and his crowd. Their captain said that they hadn’t reported back yet. Have Spock and McCoy?“

“No, Captain. And I have to tell you that I am worried. The lads don’t need to be coming across Higgins and his guys, or the Romulans.“

“See if you can get a fix on their location, Scotty. As soon as you do, beam them back aboard. You other men go about your duties. I’ll stay here with Scotty. I couldn’t be anywhere else until all of our crew are accounted for.“

 

McCoy never did know exactly how he and Spock had managed to get away from Higgins and his men. The dark helped a lot. But it also kept McCoy from seeing where Spock had gone in the melee.

And now Spock was missing, and that left McCoy by himself on this alien world. Suddenly, McCoy felt very much alone. He might argue with the Vulcan and lose his temper with him, but at least Spock was company and was on his side. Now McCoy had no one, and it registered with him.

“Spock!” McCoy demanded as he stopped into a shadowy alley and looked around. “Where in the hell are you?!” 

A hand reached up out of the dark and pulled him roughly down into a crouch. McCoy felt a body grazing against his as he went down and hoped it was Spock‘s. If not, then McCoy was in a whole lot of trouble.

“Doctor! Please!” Spock hissed in McCoy‘s ear. “Will you refrain from yelling?!”

McCoy huddled next to Spock’s body. The contact and warmth of an ally felt good, even if it was an ally who constantly needled him. “Why didn’t you just tell me to shut up?” he hissed back.

“Because you would probably just argue why I had said that,” Spock said in a tired voice. “But, now, it appears, you are doing just that, anyway.”

“Maybe I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice to reassure myself that it was really you.”

“Strange. Those were my thoughts exactly.”

McCoy grinned, looked at the shadowy form beside him, and tried to make out that it was indeed Spock. “Why, Commander. Are you saying that you are happy to see me?”

“It would appear that I would be pleased to see any familiar face right now, Dr. McCoy. Even yours.”

“Make me feel special,” McCoy muttered.

“Or, in our case, to hear a familiar voice since it is too dark to see you.”

“But I can imagine your face all aglow with recognition and thanksgiving. I can so hear the joy in your voice about my presence. Your pleasure lightens my enraptured heart and is causing it to go pitter-pat, pitter-pat.”

“I do not know why you are choosing this moment to air what is probably what you perceive as your version of clever sarcasm. But I would like to state, categorically, that it is not really pertinent to our present situation nor does it in any way alleviate it. I just thought I might point out those facts.”

“That’s just your interpretation. And, Spock, you don’t need to go on record. Nobody’s keeping score here.”

“Odd. I had the impression that you were." His hand grabbed McCoy's shoulder. "Shhh! Someone is coming.”

“McCoy!” Higgins called. “Are you in here? Come out. We just want to talk.”

McCoy started to rise. 

Spock grabbed McCoy's shoulder in an iron grip, jerked McCoy back down, and harshly whispered, “Where are you going?!” There was anger in Spock's voice, and what McCoy could only interpret as fear.

That was new, McCoy thought. Spock afraid of something? Spock afraid FOR someone? At the same time McCoy decided that no one was going to step in front of a bullet meant for him, not even Spock. “You stay here. They don’t know that you’re here. I‘m the one they want.” 

But Spock was rising to his feet himself.

“Spock!” McCoy hissed in a loud whisper. He made a grab for the alien and felt his hand trail down Spock‘s arm, hip, and leg. The sensation was electric, and he wondered if Spock had gotten the same reaction from McCoy‘s touch. Probably not. McCoy wanted to check his hand for burn marks. It'd been that intense for him.

But McCoy knew one thing for sure. He wanted to touch Spock like that again. And McCoy realized that he wanted to do more with that body, wanton things, nighttime things, desirable things. The thought of Spock’s body under his exploring hands was very appealing. To handle Spock’s body, not as a doctor, but as someone else, someone with more intimate desires, someone more caring, someone more stirred, appealed to McCoy very much. McCoy mentally shook himself. He wondered why he was intimately thinking of Spock’s body at a time like this. McCoy should be thinking of Spock the man and the stupid thing he was doing now to protect McCoy. 

“It is not McCoy,” Spock answered.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the nanny,” Higgins greeted. “Come out into the light, so we can see you better. Well, well, I’ll be damned,” Higgins said with a grin on his face. “We’ve got Spock.”

“And McCoy,” McCoy said as he stood up and quickly stepped beside Spock.

“Doctor!” Spock admonished. "Why did you show yourself?"

"Shut up, Spock," McCoy hissed. "I'm rescuing you."

Spock frowned, and McCoy could almost hear the question bouncing around in Spock's brain.

How?

“Well, well, well! And the Galahad of the Galaxy is here, too,” Higgins crowed with a grin.

"Let Spock go, Higgins. I'm the one you want."

"Doctor--" Spock warned.

"Shut up, Spock! I'm rescuing you!"

Spock rolled his eyes, and his expression said, 'Give me strength.'

"Nobody's going anywhere, McCoy. You're both staying."

McCoy shrugged. "Sorry, Spock. I tried."

Spock grunted and rolled his eyes.

“What was going on in the shadows with you two?" Higgins wanted to know. " Pitching a little woo?” He looked around at his buddies. “I wonder what that would be like, huh? Satisfy our curiosity, gentlemen. How about showing us how you kiss each other? We got cheated out of that the other night. A nice open mouthed kiss would suit us just fine. Right, guys?” He received approval from his friends.

McCoy and Spock both frowned.

“How about you try to beat the hell out of us, instead?!”

“Doctor--”

McCoy glared at Spock. “Do you want him to force us to kiss?! That sort of thing will go all over the galaxy!”

“It would be far better than getting into another brawl. The odds are still five to two. And the last time, we didn’t fare too well with those odds.”

“But, a kiss! Do you know what that involves?! And an open mouthed kiss, at that?!”

“I do not like the idea, either, Doctor, but sometimes we must do things that disgust us.”

“Well, thanks!” McCoy snapped. “It’s nice to know that you consider a beating to be preferable to a kiss from me!”

“If you have another solution, I am open to suggestions.”

McCoy glared at Spock with blazing eyes.

Higgins hooted with laughter. “Lovers’ spat! Lovers’ spat!” His buddies roared with him. Higgins held up his hand, and they quieted. “Don’t hold out on us, guys. We want to see you kissing each other. Make it a sweet kiss, too. Like I say, open mouthed. I want to see slobbers running down your chins. I want to hear moaning and see hands crawling over each other. I want to see you getting turned on.” His cronies roared their approval.

McCoy and Spock stared at Higgins.

“Do it,” Higgins said with a new hardness to his voice. “Or we’ll alter your body and send you back to the Enterprise being able to sing two octaves higher. Permanently.”

“Doctor, do they mean--”

“Yes, Spock, they do. They apparently believe in the old myth that castration will change the timbre of a man’s voice.”

“Then, it is not true?”

“Damn it, Spock! I don’t care about the timbre of my voice! But I sure as hell don’t want us to be the experiment to prove that there's nothing to that theory! What I want is for my little swimmers to keep their happy, little homes located right where they've always been! I don’t need extra room in my trousers! I want to still be able to father children, if I so desire! I think you’d want that option, also! Are you understanding now what I'm talking about, or do you need the situation made any more straightforward than that?!”

Higgins and his cronies roared with laughter again.

“Alright, gentlemen,” Higgins said when the laughter died down. “All merriment aside, we think it is so wonderful that you two are together.“

“We are not--“

Spock grabbed McCoy’s arm. “Doctor. Patience.“

“Listen to your little Vulcan sweetheart, McCoy. He’s really the brains in your twosome, isn’t he?“

McCoy drew in his breath to retort, but was silenced by a sharp look from Spock.

“Now, me and the boys aren’t against love, are we, guys?“ Higgins looked around at the other four and was supported with their agreement. “We’re as romantic as the next guy. The trouble is, we don’t get to see proof of true love. To us, it’s just a myth. So, why don’t you two be sports and prove it to us?“

McCoy’s eyes bulged, and his nostrils flared as he drew in breath to retort.

“Doctor--“ Spock cautioned.

Higgins continued, “We want to see you give each other a slobbery kiss, just sweetheart to sweetheart. We want to feel the love radiating off you.” 

McCoy dropped his mouth open to object, but Spock grasped his arm harder.

Higgins glared at them. “Now!”

McCoy stared at Spock a moment. “Ah--”

“I believe we have to do this, Doctor.”

McCoy looked confused. “Ah, how?”

Spock shrugged. 

“Do you want us to show each of you how?“ Higgins asked. “I don’t know who wants Spock, but, McCoy, you’re mine. And I might tell you now. I chew tobacco. I got a nice juicy wad in my cheek right now. I can spit it out, or pass it to you. Either way, you‘ll get the whole benefit of all my juices. And they’ve been fermenting awhile. You‘ll remember my kiss for a long time. You‘ll TASTE me for a long time, Lover!“

McCoy grimaced, then looked hopelessly at Spock. 

Spock looked hopelessly back.

“Do something!” McCoy hissed.

“Like what, Doctor?” 

“I don’t know! But, do something!“

“Alright.“ Then Spock plunged his hand into his front pocket and began rooting around.

McCoy frowned in puzzlement at Spock's occupation.

“Here, here, none of that!” Higgins ordered.

“Merely getting myself ready,” Spock answered as his hand roamed around in his pocket. “Ah, yes. Much better,” he said as he jerked his shoulders slightly. The wild gyrations in his trousers ceased. “It is a Vulcan preparation, gentlemen. I recommend it.”

Higgins, his buddies, and McCoy all frowned in distaste.

“You mean, you have to finger yourself before you can kiss McCoy?” Higgins demanded. “I know it might take courage to take him on, but feeling yourself up? The guy isn’t that disgusting, surely.” Higgins frowned. “Is he?” 

McCoy looked insulted.

“If you have to do that to kiss him, what in the hell does it take to make love to him?” Higgins wanted to know.

Spock shrugged. “Sometimes I wish I had a mask.”

McCoy frowned. 

“For him to wear, so I do not have to look into his face.”

“Now, wait a minute, you pointy--”

“I don’t trust you, alien. Are you sure that’s what you’re doing in your pocket?”

Spock pulled out his hand. “I can prove it. Here, Higgins, want to smell?“

Higgins and his crew took a step backwards, and McCoy considered it.

“You must be desperate, McCoy, to hook up with this one,” Higgins said.

It was Spock’s turn to look insulted.

“Alright, that’s enough playing pocket pool! Time for the floor show!” Higgins ordered.

The crew of the Gallant waited breathlessly. 

Spock glanced at McCoy. “Doctor, I would advise that we do this thing. I will, ah, follow your lead. I am not as experienced in the romance department as you are.“

McCoy‘s eyes blazed. “And you think I go around kissing guys in the mouth?!”

“Alright, McCoy. Now’s not the time for another lovers’ spat. Get on with it.”

“Sorry,“ McCoy muttered to Spock, then placed his hands on Spock’s shoulders, leaned forward, opened his mouth, and closed his eyes. Then Spock likewise grabbed McCoy’s arms, headed for McCoy, opened his mouth, and closed his eyes.

The excitement of the Gallant crew increased with their cheering as McCoy and Spock’s lips slowly neared to within touching distance of each other.

 

Back on the Enterprise, Scotty announced, “I have a lock on them, Captain! If they would just be still for a moment! There! They’ve stopped. Shall I energize?!”

“Yes! Energize! Thank goodness, you’ve found them!”

McCoy and Spock suddenly began to materialize on one pad in the transporter room of the Enterprise. Kirk and Scotty stood stunned as they saw McCoy and Spock, their eyes closed and their mouths open as they held each other closely and prepared to engage in an exaggerated French kiss.

They finished materializing. Just a mere few inches from contact, they suddenly stopped, opened their eyes and closed their mouths, and looked around, stunned.

“That’s why the noise of the crowd stopped,” McCoy said in awe to Spock. “No crowd, anymore.”

“Precisely,” Spock affirmed as he released McCoy and pulled away from him.

“What was that all about?!” Kirk demanded. “Why were you two on your way to trading mouth cultures?!”

“You don’t want to know, Jim.”

“Did we interrupt something intimate between you two?” Kirk wanted to know. Then he swung his hand out in invitation. “If so, please continue, if you‘re so inclined. Don’t let Mr. Scott and me deter you in your amorous adventures.”

“Yeah. Like it was our idea,” McCoy answered sarcastically.

Kirk and Scott both looked puzzled.

“Higgins from the Gallant was having some fun with us, Captain,” Spock answered. “I managed to turn on my communicator in my pocket so you could find us and transport us back.“

“Oh, so THAT’S what you were doing in your pocket, instead of, ah--“

“Please, Doctor,” Spock answered, insulted.

“Want to fill me in, guys?“ Kirk asked with a bemused look on his face.

“That is about the extent of it, Captain. We got the information you wanted, then were detained by the men from the Gallant.“

McCoy frowned. He knew that Spock had gotten the information on his own and was covering for him with Kirk. Plus, Spock had rescued him from Higgins and his men. Maybe the Vulcan wasn’t a bad sort, after all. 

“I fear we have not seen the last of Higgins and his cronies, Captain,” Spock was continuing. “That is twice we have escaped him. We may not be so lucky the next time.”

“Now who’s the voice of gloom and doom?” McCoy demanded. “That’s supposed to be my job!” He headed for the door of the transporter room which slid open before him.

“I merely made an observation, Dr. McCoy,” Spock remarked as he followed McCoy to the door. “And might I point out that we would not be having these problems with the crew from the Gallant if you had left with me when I originally proposed our prompt exodus from the bar?”

“Well, forgive me for breathing! How was I to know that the crew of the Gallant were suppressed sex fiends who can only live vicariously by watching other people’s successful sexual encounters?!”

The door slid shut behind them, but their irate voices could still be heard. 

“Sexual encounters, Captain?” Scotty asked with wide eyes. "Between those two?"

Kirk looked puzzled and shrugged.

“Now, Doctor,” Spock continued, “you cannot make such a generalized statement about the sexual habits of an entire Starship.”

“I can, if I want to! Just look at the Enterprise! Most nights, it‘s another Peyton Place around here! Who knows who‘s going to wind up together in bed?!”

“Maybe they are just trying to stay warm. The Enterprise can get awfully cold at night. I should know.”

“Oh, you’re nothing but a frost turd! Not everyone needs as much heat as you Vulcans do!”

“Our environment has acclimated our bodies to warmer conditions, Doctor.”

“Well, get over your bodily conditioning, Commander! You’re not living in a volcano now!”

"How well I know. It is more like a frozen tundra on this ship."

The voices moved off down the hallway.

Kirk and Scott looked at each other in amazed puzzlement.

“Captain Kirk, maybe we should be concerned. What’s going to happen between them? Are they going to kiss each other, or kill each other?”

“That’s anybody’s guess, Scotty. I'm not sure if they know for sure. Me, I’m just going to go looking for their bodies if those two don’t turn up at regular intervals.”

Scotty rolled his eyes dramatically. “Aye, Captain! Good idea! And well founded!”


	4. Chapter 4

McCoy couldn’t be happier. He and Spock were friends. Spock had said so.

McCoy sailed into Sickbay and practically did a little dance step around the room.

“Gooood morning, Christine!" he announced with a wink and a delightful grin. "And how are we this bright, sunshiny solar day?!”

Nurse Chapel looked at McCoy as if she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. “Dr. McCoy?!” she asked with incredulity.

He stopped and looked back at her with a wry smile and a sexy gleam out of his blue, blue eyes. “Yeeees?!”

“Dr. McCoy?” she asked. “It is you? Really you?” She acted as if she were studying his face from all angles. 

“Yes, it is, Nurse Chapel. Why do you ask?” he wanted to know, full well knowing the answer. He was just in the mood to tease one of his most favorite women in the universe.

“Well, you generally don’t act this, this chipper! Especially for a workday.”

“Well, I’ve turned over a new leaf, Chapel. I’m going to embrace each day as if it was an adventure and an opportunity. I’m going to squeeze all of the goodness out of it that I can. What do you think of that?”

“I, I think it’s wonderful! Amazing, in fact. Your attitude affects your outlook so much. You’ll find that problems won’t seem half so bad if you just look at them cheerfully.”

“I knew you’d understand, Christine,” he said with a bright smile. “I knew that my little ray of personal sunshine would be understanding.”

“Oh, Dr. McCoy! You’ve got me blushing!”

“And it becomes you so much.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” she said with her hand to her throat.

“Well, what’s on the docket for today?”

“Physicals for personnel,” she said with a tiny line appearing between her eyes. “I know how disagreeable you find those.”

“Nonsense! Nothing could spoil my good mood today! I hope that there’s a whole line of grumbling Gorns awaiting us!”

“Well, nothing that dramatic, Doctor. Just the engineering department.”

“A gaggle of Gorns, if I ever saw one. Well, bring them on, Chapel! The best way to deal with a task is to jump right into it!”

“Yes, Doctor!” she agreed enthusiastically. “One Gorn, uh, engineer coming up!”

 

After their shifts were over, McCoy felt so good that he decided to throw a little party for Kirk and Spock in his quarters. His guests were equally amazed by his good humor that had not be deterred by a steady flow of tiresome physicals during McCoy’s whole shift.

“You’re in a good mood, Bones,” Kirk remarked with a tolerant smile as he took the straight back chair that McCoy offered. McCoy knew that Kirk‘s back had been bothering, so it was better that Kirk be seated in something with firm support.

“And why not?! McCoy said with enthusiasm. “It‘s a great night for a party! Time to unwind, gentlemen. Let me get you some refreshment.”

“Thank you, Dr. McCoy. It is most welcome to come here to relax this evening.” 

“Quite alright. Sit right there, Spock,” he said, indicating his best chair, a cushy recliner. “Did you have a rough day?”

Spock sighed as he settled in the comfortable recliner. “Yes, especially since I spent the day working over some very perplexing equations dealing with the Helix Nebula. I had been asked by colleagues at Starfleet Academy if I could duplicate their finds, and I could not. Something is wrong with their methodology, or mine.”

With a big grin, McCoy winked at Kirk. “Surely, it couldn’t be you, Spock.”

Kirk grinned to himself. Here we go, he thought to himself. How do they do it? he wondered. How do they find new ways to insult each other? That took real talent.

But then he got a surprise.

“Those desk jockeys haven’t been in the field, or in our case, space, for ages,” McCoy said. “What do they know of the real space frontier? They‘re just working with theories, and you‘re working with the real thing, with space.”

Even Spock was impressed, even though he frowned. “Whether the scientist is at Starfleet Academy or aboard the Enterprise, we both work with theory, Doctor.”

Okay, now the argument will start, Kirk thought, and braced himself. McCoy must be setting some elaborate trap for Spock. Whatever it would be must be a humdinger because he had missed a couple of good opportunities already to spring. He hadn’t even risen to the bait offered by Spock.

Again, Kirk, and now, Spock, were proven wrong by McCoy’s tactics.

“You’re probably right, Spock,” he said with an agreeable grin. “Meditate on something else. Have a good night’s sleep. Then try again tomorrow. I promise all will work out then.”

Spock arched an eyebrow. “Sound advice, Doctor.” He glanced at Kirk with almost a question on his face. “Very sound, wouldn’t you say, Captain?”

Kirk could only agree with a grin. “The soundest. Bones, you’re in a good mood this evening. I feel very welcome here.”

“Why, thank you, gentlemen!” He looked from one to the other. “I’m glad you’re both here.”

This is a helluva elaborate mousetrap being baited, Kirk thought. When will McCoy spring it?

“Oh, I almost forgot!” He grabbed a box, opened it, and offered it to Spock.

Spock looked at it suspiciously, but didn‘t take it. 

“Come on, Spock, it’s just chocolate.”

“I know what it is, Doctor. I just need to know what the occasion is.”

“No occasion, Spock!” McCoy declared expansively with a toothy smile on his face and a thrust of his hand into the air. “Just ‘cause it’s Wednesday! How about that?!”

“Why are we celebrating Wednesdays? We have never done that before, have we?” Spock turned to Kirk. “Is that some sort of holiday you have failed to tell me about?”

Kirk gave him a flirty smile. “Outside of being Hump Day, none that I know of. Of course, maybe Bones knows of something I don’t. He keeps up on these things better than I do.” He passed the flirty smile on to McCoy. “He’s just our little social butterfly, aren’t you, Bones?”

“Well, okay, if you need an occasion, I’ve got one. Let’s celebrate getting out of the clutches of Higgins and his men. How about that?”

“Well, it does look like good chocolate,” Spock agreed as he studied the offering. His mouth was beginning to water. He could smell the heavenly aroma of the fine candy. It certainly was a temptation. And Spock, always curious, wondered if the seeming potential pleasure would be as wonderful to experience as he imagined it would be. He could be persuaded very easily when it came to chocolate.

“Well, of course it‘s good chocolate! Only the best for the Science Officer of the Enterprise!”

“Captain,” Spock asked as he turned to Kirk. “Dr. McCoy knows what an intoxicant that chocolate is me. Is he deliberately trying to get me drunk?”

“It certainly looks like it, Mr. Spock,” Kirk replied with his best sexy smile. “Don’t worry. I’m here. I’ll protect you.”

“I would appreciate that, Captain.”

McCoy grinned. “Found me out, didn’t you?” 

“Dr. McCoy,” Kirk asked, faking seriousness. “As Mr. Spock’s friend, I must ask your intentions toward him?”

McCoy opened his mouth to answer.

“I mean, after you’ve gotten him drunk? Do you plan to have your way with him?”

McCoy stared in shocked alarm.

“I’ll take that as a ‘no,‘ Bones.” Kirk turned. “I believe that you are safe to consume the chocolate, Mr. Spock.”

“Thank you, Captain,” Spock answered as he picked up a piece of the candy and popped it into his mouth before he could talk himself out of it. He rolled his eyes in ecstasy as he chewed.

“I just meant to give him a treat!” McCoy roared. “Must everything be about sex, sex, sex with you, Kirk?!”

“What else is there, Bones?”

McCoy closed his mouth and thought. “I don’t know,” he finally muttered, then looked at his two friends. “Maybe I did have ulterior motives.”

“See, Spock? I saved you from a fate worse than death, according to the Victorian maidens.”

“Hmm. Excellent chocolate, Doctor. Want some?” Spock offered the candy.

“No, thanks,” McCoy grumbled. “That, apparently, would interfere with my plans of seducing you. If someone else ate some of the chocolate, there would be less to intoxicate you.”

Spock shrugged. “Whatever. More for me then.”

“Me, I’m getting out the whiskey. Jim, I don’t have to ask you twice if you want any, do I?”

“Never!” Kirk jumped to his feet. “Let’s get this party rolling, gentlemen!”

And a party it was, too, up until the time that McCoy got handsy with Spock. The more that McCoy drank, the better that Spock looked to him. And somewhere along the way, McCoy remembered the thoughts he’d had about Spock’s body in that dark alley on Narsarya B. McCoy remembered the electricity shooting through him from touching the Vulcan. He also remembered wanting more and longer contact with the alien. He particularly remembered wanting to get a response from Spock.

True, these same thoughts had scurried half-formed through his mind occasionally since that incident. There had been times during dinner when he considered how nice it would be to go back to Spock‘s quarters with him to spend the night. Once, he’d even come close to giving Spock a hug just because he’d felt close to him. Then McCoy had remembered that Spock didn’t like to be casually touched. And once, their hands had brushed together as they’d reached for the same book. Once more the electricity had shot through McCoy. He had hoped that Spock hadn’t heard his sharp gasp from the touch. Yes, there had been many instances of closeness with Spock, but this party was the only time that he had decided to act on them.

“You’re right, Jim! I must’ve had ulterior motives toward Spock! I would’ve never thought about it, though, if you hadn’t mentioned it. According to you, I should take advantage of any opportunity to force myself on this poor, innocent, defenseless Vulcan. He’s such a shy, sweet, young thing! And that chocolate has probably hit him hard.“

“Bones. Maybe you’ve had enough yourself for the evening.“

But McCoy was just getting started with his rant. “Why was I fighting the chance to kiss him when Higgins was bullying us? I must’ve been stupid, or something.”

“That’s just the alcohol talking, Bones. You‘ve had most of a bottle. Realize the truth about Higgins. He was just trying to make you the butt of a joke.”

“I have been thinking about that incident, Captain,” Spock said. “Despite the circumstances, it might have been an interesting experience to have conducted that experiment.”

“That’s just the chocolate talking, Spock. You’ve cleaned up all of the candy that Bones gave to you. Your inhibitions have been lowered. In your state, you wouldn‘t mind getting personal with a Gorn. Even a pissed-off Romulan with bad breath might look good to you. You might be up for anything, however bizarre or jarring.”

“Being transported to the Enterprise when I was least expecting it was almost as jarring of an experience as almost being forced to kiss Dr. McCoy. At least I had prepared myself mentally for the kiss. I didn‘t know if you‘d even received my broadcast, or were even looking for us.”

“Imagine what it did for me,” McCoy muttered. “I wasn’t expecting being transported at all.”

“Sorry that we interrupted something,” Kirk muttered. “Scotty and I just thought we were rescuing you two. Apparently, not.”

“That’s right!” McCoy declared. “It was jarring! What a letdown! We got cheated out of our kiss, Spock! We have to correct that, right now!”

With no more warning than that, McCoy grabbed Spock by the shoulders and fiercely slammed his open mouth over the Vulcan’s. Kirk blinked as his own mouth dropped open. His two best friends were in a brutal lip lock, and neither appeared to be about to modify it. In fact, they seemed very involved.

Nor did they break it. Kirk expected Spock at least to turn away, but the chocolate really must have loosened his inhabitations. If anything, Spock seemed to lean further into the kiss and placed his own hands on McCoy‘s shoulders to pull him closer. At one point, McCoy began to frown and raised his hand toward Spock’s face. McCoy’s splayed fingers reached into the air for long moments while the room quieted in honor of the sacred kiss.

When McCoy’s fingers at last came into contact with Spock’s face, they broke the spell of the kiss and McCoy drew back. He openly stared at Spock while his frown deepened. He looked amazingly sober. In fact, he appeared to be horrified about what he had done.

“Spock, I--I’m sorry,“ McCoy managed to mutter while his stunned eyes never left Spock’s face. “I shouldn’t have done that. I apologize.”

Spock studied him without emotion or blinking, then he finally turned aside with almost disgust on his face and left.

Kirk stared at McCoy with unblinking eyes. “Holy shit, Bones! What was that all about?!”

“I don’t know, Jim. Was he mad? Glad? Sad? Did I light his fire? Or lose his friendship?”

“I wish I knew what to tell you, Bones. But I don’t have any idea, either. Let’s just sleep on it. Maybe tomorrow will be better when we’re all sober.”

 

But the next day wasn’t any better. Spock seemed non-responsive, especially to McCoy. He continued with the silent, unblinking stare of the night before.

“For heaven’s sake, Spock!” McCoy declared. “Blink! Your eyeballs will dry out, and you’ll go blind! I don’t want to be responsible for almost causing that again!”

To appease McCoy, Spock blinked twice, then turned away and left.

“He’s still at it, I see?” Kirk had witnessed Spock’s silent reaction, also.

“You saw for yourself,” he mumbled in reply. Then his attention focused on Kirk. “For heaven’s sake, it’s catching! Stop staring at the door! He’s gone! He’s not going to magically reappear if you only stare at the door long enough! Blink! Moisturize your eyes! What’s broken loose around here?! Does everyone want to dry out his eyeballs?!” McCoy threw up his hands. “It’s an epidemic!”

 

“Spock, look, I’m sorry I pulled that prank on you.”

Spock stared at him.

“Look, it was just a kiss. You can be okay with that, can’t you? Just a little kiss between friends? Meaning nothing?”

“You are assuming we are friends.”

McCoy’s face fell. “Well.” He looked up with a wild look on his face. “Yeah!” Then he frowned. “Don’t you think that we are friends?”

“We are colleagues and members of the same crew, that much is true.”

“And nothing else? That’s it?”

“You are stating an obvious fact.”

McCoy’s frown deepened. “I thought we were at least friends.” He drew in a deep breath to cover his hurt feelings. “Okay. We’ll play it your way then. We’ll just be colleagues and crew mates. Fine with me.”

“I am glad that you are willing to see the truth of the situation, Doctor.”

Pride and anger and a little bit of spite made McCoy’s eyes flash. “Oh, I can see the truth of the situation, alright! You are unfeeling and judgmental!“

“I did not say a word.”

“You didn’t have to! Those staring, unblinking eyes said it all!”

“That is merely your own guilt bothering you, Doctor.”

“I don’t know what it is with you. You’re just a machine, after all, aren’t you? I never had a chance with you, did I? Not with friendship, or anything else. It must be nice to be so perfect. Someday you’re going to make a mistake, and mark my words, you will make one! And it’ll be a big one. You’re about due. I only hope that when you go to apologize, that the other person is more forgiving of you than you have been with me. For your own sake, I hope that never happens. But for my sake, I hope it does! I want you to know how it feels not to be forgiven.”

“That is vengeance, Doctor.”

“Damned right, it is! I may not have much, but maybe I’ll eventually have that! And I hope that I am around to see it!”

“Do you believe that will bring you justification and closure?”

“How can you so heartlessly ask questions like that?! You are an unfeeling machine, aren’t you?! I thought maybe you had learned something around us Earthlings, but I guess not!”

“Doctor, you will be raising your blood pressure.”

“If you’re always so worried about my blood pressure, why do you continually aggravate it?!”

“I did not realize I was doing that, Doctor.”

“You don’t realize a lot of things,” McCoy muttered. “Sorry that I interrupted your work, Commander! I’ll let you resume your duties! I‘m sure that it must be more rewarding than relating to people! And definitely more fascinating!” He turned on his heel and left.

Spock delicately raised one eyebrow. He almost allowed the flicker of the smile of satisfaction to cross his face before he caught himself and returned to his work. Earthlings were such children! And so obvious!

Thanks to the meditation, Spock had managed to put himself above the appeal of the flesh that had radiated off McCoy. That unexpected kiss had rattled Spock, and he had found himself melting into it. But he had to be above his yearnings. He could not lose control to his desires.


	5. Chapter 5

But the kiss he’d forced on Spock gnawed at McCoy. It also brought back his memories of what had happened to him in the alley down on Narsarya B.

The more that McCoy remembered the incident when he had touched Spock‘s body and had felt carnal yearnings for the Vulcan, the more that McCoy wanted to explore those yearnings. But what if Spock didn‘t have similar feelings? McCoy could jeopardize or even ruin any rapport he had with the alien. He was in bad enough trouble with the kiss he had stolen when Spock’s inhibitions had been lowered. He chastised himself. He was supposed to be a friend. A friend didn’t take advantage; a friend protected. A friend thought about somebody else instead of himself and his own urges.

But McCoy’s urges were strong. He felt that he had to do something. He had to approach Spock, somehow, and convince him that he was earnest and reliable. He had to know if his feelings could ever possibly be returned. But he knew now that he lied to himself, too. He thought he was just being friendly when he‘d brought chocolate to Spock when he must‘ve had an ulterior motive all along. 

What if his subconscious was directing him to do its bidding? He needed to suppress it. He had to play the game by Spock’s rules if he wanted to keep Spock’s regard. He would suppress all of his desires for that friendship.

He should have known that conscious denial always needs an outlet.

 

The Vulcan was in McCoy’s arms. Willing. Pliant. More than eager to respond to McCoy’s every move and every desire. Sometimes Spock even anticipated the move and thrilled McCoy with his own inventiveness and spontaneity. Yes, this was the way it was supposed to be. Loving each other. Pleasing each other. Giving into their primitive urges. With no reserves. No guilt. No lack of passion. Thrilling to the touch of another’s naked body beneath eager exploring fingertips.

Love spilled around them as they twined together on an ecstatic tour of Earth’s Solar System. They rotated in the ether of Jupiter’s sky while stars shot through the tempestuous sky over them and fulfillment rocketed through their over stimulated bodies. Neptune’s ice could not chill them; it merely cooled them so they could refuel the passion within themselves. The furnace that is Mars could not equal the heat of their bodies or of their eternal hunger. Their bodies shook with their repeated orgasms only to be reignited by their fierce need for each other. Was this heaven or hell not to ever get their fill of each other?

McCoy awoke in a sweaty mess of twisted bedclothes. No wonder he was unfilled with his sheets twisted around his nether regions so tightly. Anybody would have multiple orgasms with that tight contact. And the damned bed was going to have to be stripped and the sheets washed before it could be used for sleeping again. It smelled like a brothel in here, a brothel patronized by bore hogs in rut. No wonder he’d experienced an orgasm without end. Well, at least he was sated. But certainly not satisfied. A twisted sheet between his fevered legs could never replace a certain fevered Vulcan twisting beneath him.

Hell, better throw the pajamas in the washer, too. They could stand by themselves when dry, otherwise. Then he needed to hit the shower. Cold water. Lots. Lots of stinging, cold water. With the spray on blast. Needles. Needles of ice. That’s what he needed. Needles of ice that his burning body would turn into steam.

What the hell had come over him? He was no better than a teenage boy with his first wet dream. But what was he supposed to do when his longings appeared in his sleep? 

The daytime was bad enough because he seemed to be thrown together with Spock so much. McCoy daydreamed about grabbing Spock and kissing him so urgently and so hard that McCoy would at last wipe that smug look off that aloof face. Spock would be so stunned with incomprehension that McCoy could then cuddle him and gently lead him to a physical awakening for both of them. Then they would both discover how complete they were for each other.

During the day he tried to suppress his desires for the damned alien, but he lost the battle at night as he had that night. 

If there was any consolation, it was that he had a hunch that Spock was undergoing the same experience. Or at least he hoped Spock was. The damned alien could probably control not only his emotions, but everything in his life, even his dreams.

McCoy was wrong.

 

The chocolate was so delicious, and it had opened Spock’s eyes to a truth he had long been denying to himself. But Spock realized it now as he looked down at the compliant, willing body beneath his. McCoy was so desirable. Spock didn’t hesitate. He reached for McCoy and folded him into an opened mouth kiss. And McCoy didn’t fight it. He leaned into it, then leaned against Spock, then flowed into Spock. Their essences became one as their kiss deepened. They swirled into the far reaches of the universe, united for all Time, contended to think of nothing else except the emotion that raced through both of their excited systems. This was the way it was meant to be. Him and McCoy. Together. Forever.

Spock awoke in a sweat. It had happened again. The erotic dream of sharing the chocolate kiss with McCoy, and then the ethereal joining of their bodies and souls. How many nights now had he awakened to this ecstasy and to this madness? No amount of meditation could lessen the hold that the nearness of McCoy had on him. And they seemed to spend so much more time together now. Kirk always seemed to have some urgent project for them to complete. Together.

Spock would catch himself watching McCoy when they were together during their waking hours. So well he knew the flirty smile, the blue, blue eyes that could change emotions in an instant, the taut, lithe body Spock yearned to hold, the spirit he wanted to claim as his own. He wanted McCoy to look at him, him, and to see him, him, and respond to, well, him with all the passion that Spock knew had to be in that tightly wound Earthling body. He wanted to run his hands over that body of McCoy‘s, to have his hands learn the feel of that body intimately. And, heaven help him, he wanted McCoy to touch him in all those ways, too, in all those secret places on, and especially in, Spock’s body. And his hands would ache to touch McCoy anywhere McCoy would allow it. Spock’s hands vibrated toward McCoy. And Spock learned the meaning of lust, because it would burn inside him even as he argued with McCoy. It was as if the arguing made them more aware of each other. A type of foreplay, apparently.

Then would come the nighttime when Spock would relive all he had seen about McCoy, and the terrible longing for consummation with McCoy would overwhelm him. And Spock would pray for deliverance from this unholy longing that tortured his dreams and his very soul.

It was as if a bond had been sealed between them, a bond that no amount of meditation or projected thinking could overcome. Spock understood bonds. Vulcans had many bonds in their cultural traditions, but nothing like this joining with that aggravating doctor. Spock must break it the only way he knew how. He must get away from this cursed planet with its dreams of paradise and its flowers that wove a blanket of euphoria for anyone not cautious enough to avoid them. He must undergo Kolinar and wipe McCoy and his kiss from his memory. Then Spock would know peace.

He did not realize that their only kiss, a drunken affair induced by alcohol and fine Swiss chocolate, had produced a psychic link between him and McCoy. A psychic link that was eternal because it was based on true love.

 

“Yes, I will leave for Vulcan where I will undergo Kolinar.”

“But, why?” Kirk demanded. “I thought everything was going so well with you here on the Enterprise. I thought you enjoyed your work and your associations here.”

“That is just your observation, Captain. My perception is quite different.”

“Look,” McCoy spoke up. “If it’s because of what’s been going on between us, I’ll back off. You won’t even have to see me ever again if that’s your problem. There’s no reason for you to haul off and do something so drastic as to leave your career and your life here. This is craziness! You can't just walk away!”

“Doctor. This is not about you. I quite know my own mind, too, and I want you to realize that. I am not crazy. I will not have any arguments against the processes of my logic.”

“Easy now," McCoy soothed with a frown. "It's your decision. I realize that. Just don't get riled.“

“I am NOT getting riled!“

Kirk and McCoy glanced at each other. Spock seemed riled to them.

“I am going to Vulcan, and that is it! No further discussion!”

“Of course, Mr. Spock,“ Kirk soothed and felt awe. He’d never heard Spock speaking with exclamation points before.

McCoy tried a different approach. “Look, I’m sorry about this. I know that we don’t always see eye to eye--”

“I do not understand why standing that closely to each other would have any bearing on the current discussion.”

“You green blooded idiot! It’s just a saying! It has nothing to do with our proximity to each other!” McCoy tried to calm himself. “Never mind. Trying to teach you idioms now won’t shed any light on the situation.”

“Why? Do you have any form of illumination at your disposal?”

McCoy turned away. “Jim. I give up. You try talking some sense into him.”

Kirk studied Spock. “I doubt if that’s possible, Bones. Our interpretation of ‘sense’ would probably amount to only our viewpoint to Spock.”

“You are most astute, Captain. How refreshing that someone of your species is still cognitive of logic.”

“I don’t know if I’m that, Mr. Spock, or if I just don’t want to waste my breath. You seem to have your mind made up.”

“That I do, Captain. Now, if you will excuse me, I must see to my duties. I still am assigned to do my work here.”

“Of course. Dismissed.”

McCoy waited until the door was closed.

“I don’t know how--”

“Wait, Bones. Remember his Vulcan hearing.”

“Well, maybe he should hear some things!”

“As I said, Bones, it won’t do any good. He’d made his decision before he spoke to us. He’s leaving.”

“Well, he can’t expect me to stand at attention, salute him, and wish him well!”

“You will, because you are an officer, and he is an officer. He deserves your respect.”

“He’s got my respect. Always has. Always will. I don’t know if I approve of his thinking now, though.“

“He isn’t asking for our opinion, though, is he?“

“Then you don’t approve of what he’s doing, either!“

“How could I?“ Kirk asked softly. “I’m losing a friend. Under any other circumstances, I would be out trying to stop whatever was threatening him. But, this…. This is something different. I can’t fight this. I don’t know how.“

“I don’t know why. I wanted so many more things for him. He’s cheating himself out of so many things.“

“He doesn’t see it that way, I’m afraid. All we can do is abide by his wishes.“

 

Of course, McCoy couldn’t let it rest there.

“I don’t know what in the hell you think you’re doing!“ he yelled three inches from Spock’s nose.

“To what are you referring, Doctor?“ Spock remarked calmly.

“You know damned well! Running off when things get a little sticky! You’re no quitter,“ he muttered as he turned away. “I’ve seen you stare down a dozen Romulans with no more weapons than a stick in your hand and grit in your craw. I don’t know what’s happened now to put a burr under your tail.“ He looked back at Spock. “Was it that kiss?“

“I told you that it was not about you, Doctor.”

“Isn’t it?!” McCoy crossed the room back to Spock. “What is it about me that is so difficult for you to face? Why am I such a threat?! Is it that you fear you’ll lose something of yourself if you let yourself like me? How could I possibly be a threat to you when I want so much for you?” He swallowed hard and decided to take the chance. “When I want so much with you.” He stared at Spock and felt tears swimming in his eyes. “There. I said it. Now you can pick my bones clean. I’m that vulnerable. But you know what? As much as I’m hurting, I’m still glad I’m me. At least I can feel something. And I’d trade that for ten of your lifetimes with Kolinar. Because what you’re going to do isn’t living. It’s being dead inside a living body.”

“That is your perception, Doctor. What I will be doing is not part of your culture.” 

“You’re right there. It is not part of my culture to deny Life. And that’s what you’ll be doing.” He grabbed Spock by the upper arms. “Forget about me! Forget about anything I’ve ever said.” He shook Spock. “But don’t forget yourself. Do something good for yourself. Fall in love with Life, and I guarantee you won’t want to turn your back on it.” His fingers massaged Spock’s biceps through his uniform sleeves, then he looked up with his heart in his eyes. “You’ll have to forgive me for being sad for you. I can’t help it. I’m only human. I’m selfish and vain and full of doubts and fears. But I’ll take that over giving up on Life. How much we could have had, if you would’ve only let me in. But I wasn’t enough, was I? And I am so sad because I wasn’t. And now you’re leaving, and I can’t help but think it’s because of me. I know, I know, you said I wasn’t. But if I was, at least it would mean that I'd meant something to you somewhere along the way and that I had influenced your life somehow. As you have influenced mine. And now you're leaving. I won’t have you in my life anymore, and I don‘t know how I‘m going to handle that. You see, I'm just a frail human. I'm not strong like you are. Something will be missing from my life, something that I've grown to appreciate. It won't be the same without you.“ A sob caught in his throat. “Oh, my sweet hobgoblin, I’ll miss you!”

He pulled Spock into his arms and ground his mouth against Spock’s. With his lips and his body, he tried to tell Spock about everything that was in his heart. He tried to convey feelings and wants and desires that he could not express, but that a receptive heart should surely receive and appreciate. His arms were iron bars across Spock’s back, and his mouth began erratic movements against Spock’s. But he didn’t try to force Spock’s mouth open. He sensed that this wasn’t the place for that type of kiss. Hopeless moans growled low in his throat, moans that he could not control. He could feel tears coursing down his face as his desperation grew to make Spock understand the only way he knew how. If his mind couldn’t reach Spock, maybe his body could.

At last he broke the kiss and stood panting as he breathed through his mouth and braced his forehead against Spock’s. His body vibrated with the need to continue with his intimacies. He longed to slam his body against Spock's and force that unfeeling mouth open so it would respond to him. Tears smarted at his eyes as he trembled with his desperate need. The only movement he allowed himself, though, was with his hands. His fingers continued to dig into Spock’s biceps, massaging fingers that would cause dark green bruises that would take days to fade from Spock‘s body. 

Spock did not notice the pain being inflicted on his upper arms. The anguish radiating off McCoy far outweighed any physical discomfort that Spock could ever feel for himself. He should comfort this dear friend, but he could not bring himself to let McCoy know of his empathy. He did not want to show any weakness to McCoy. That seemed to be more important than alleviating McCoy‘s sorrow. It was not pleasant for Spock to admit he was the source of McCoy anguish. After all, Spock did consider McCoy as someone who was close to him. His heart wasn’t entirely made of stone.

But some of it was. So he stood woodenly in McCoy’s arms and didn‘t return the trembling embrace. At least he didn’t push McCoy aside. Somehow, Spock knew that would break McCoy’s heart completely. And Spock did not want that. Not really. He just did not want a closer relationship with McCoy. He had to think of himself, too.

McCoy pulled back and stared into Spock’s noncommittal face. “You damned bastard!” he mumbled. “Nothing reaches you, does it? Does it do you some good to make me aware that nothing I do ever will?“ Then he studied Spock‘s stoic features. “I’m sorry that you can’t feel what I’m feeling. You’re missing so much. But, you know, right now, I don’t care what you feel, or think." That was a lie, but that didn't matter. He wasn't Vulcan, so he could lie all he wanted. He hoped Spock believed him, because he didn't believe the lie himself. But he had to protect his pride somehow. "Right now, I’m thinking of me. And I’m proud of what I’m feeling. Because it’s me, and that’s something wonderful, even if you don’t realize it. And I'm so damned happy that I can at least feel. That's something you'll never know, isn't it?" He frowned. "How can you be proud of something like that? I guess we're different, after all. I'm sorry about that.” He reached up and cupped Spock’s cheek in his hand. “And I’m so sorry I wasn’t enough to make you want to try to change. I tried to be enough. But I just wasn't. Was I?" Tears stood in his eyes as he searched the dark pools that served as Spock's eyes. McCoy could feel his lips quivering. "But I'm stubborn or a slow learner or something, because I'm going to tell you something. You won't want to hear it, and it'll only cause me more pain to tell you. It won’t do either one of us any good, but I want you to know something." He swallowed hard. "I’ll be here, right here.“ He stared some more, then said one word, a word from his heart, a word that sealed his fate. “Always.” He gently brushed the tips of his fingers across Spock’s cheek, then let them linger a moment on Spock's lips. A sad smile went across his own face. "Yeah. I see." Finally he bowed his head, turned, and quietly left Spock’s quarters.

Spock stared at the closed door and listened to McCoy’s footsteps walking away. Then he took a deep, cleansing breath and straightened his shoulders.

He had to get out of here! The world of thought was calling to him. Anywhere, he thought. Anywhere, away from these disquieting Earthlings.

Anywhere, away from that aggravating doctor and his appealing words and body!

McCoy made it back to his quarters. He made it inside the door. He made it until he was leaning on the back of that closed door, and he was alone, away from the whole hostile universe. Then he looked up and let the tears stream freely down his cheeks. 

The unfeeling robot hadn’t kissed him back. Spock had just stood there and let McCoy maul him. Spock hadn’t wanted him.

Idiot, he thought. Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! You made an idiot of yourself! And now the alien not only doesn’t like you, he doesn’t respect you, either. At least, you’d had that before, and your dignity. But not anymore. Why pledge your fidelity to someone who didn’t appreciate it? But McCoy knew the answer even before the question had formed in his mind. Because that was his only option. He was only human and could not deny the desire in his mind. He loved the Vulcan, and that would never change. And the sad truth was that the Vulcan didn’t love him back. And that, that would never change, either.

And with that rejection, the heart had gone out of McCoy. He was nothing because he wasn’t enough, and never would be.

He was no longer even the Galahad of the Galaxy, either. And he’d done it to himself with one word.

Why had he pledged eternal love to someone who didn’t want it?

Why must he love someone who didn’t care for him?

 

Kirk could see the stubborn tears in McCoy‘s eyes. “He is going, Bones. And there‘s nothing we can do about it.”

“I know we can’t stop it. I’ve accepted that now. But I know one thing for sure. He can’t expect me to give him a hearty send-off!”

But, of course, McCoy did. He dressed in his best uniform, stood at attention, and saluted Spock as he left. Regulations required that. But no amount of regulations in the universe could make McCoy happy about it. He stared at a spot over Spock’s left shoulder and never made eye contact with his departing colleague and secret passion. Only after Spock turned away did McCoy focus on his back. And he wished he hadn’t. McCoy was going to miss that back. Hell, McCoy was going to miss the whole man. And he was only beginning to realize how much.

 

“Well, James, you’ve done it now.”

“Shut up, Irene. I don’t need you nagging at me.”

“Is that any way to talk to your muse?”

“I’m not fit to have a muse anymore.”

“No, you aren’t. But that is when I will stay with you. When you need me the most.”

“Like a loyal collie, I suppose?” Kirk asked with a thin-lipped, bitter smile.

“Well, I won’t be that devoted to you. I’ll point out the error of your ways. A collie would never question your motives or your actions. A collie would only look at you with loving, adoring eyes. My reaction will be quite different.”

“Bitch!”

“I’m going to take that in the nature that you should have intended it, James. I‘m going to assume you are still thinking of me in female dog terms.”

“Have it your own way, then. If I don’t humor you, you’ll probably make my balls fall off.”

“Oh, no, James. The loss of another part of your anatomy would cause you more concern.”

“My, ah, manhood?” he asked with fear and stopped himself from dropping protective hands in front of himself. “You mean you'd make it so that I’d have to squat like a woman to do my business?”

“No, my dear. Not your manhood."

Now Kirk was curious. "What, then?" he asked with an amused frown.

She looked at him with a fine arch of his eyebrows. "Oh, my dear James. I would select your nose.”

“My nose?!” Kirk hooted with laughter and relief. “Deal!”

“No, James. Never make a deal that would mar that beautiful face of yours. If your face was scarred, you’d never get a chance to get close enough to a lovely lady to use your other equipment. Beautiful people want beautiful people around them and to romance, not plain ones. Disfigured ones would only cause them disgust, no matter how much sensitivity training they‘ve taken. Like attracts like.”

Kirk brought himself up short. “Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.”

“You’d learn fast what most of the other men in the universe have to cope with because they‘re born with plainness on their faces. You would be ORDINARY, Jim Kirk. And, James T., you just could not handle that.”


	6. Chapter 6

Nature abhors a vacuum, and so does Life. Spock left the Enterprise, and the Enterprise got a new Science Officer to replace him. Life resumed, as Life must. And everyone adjusted enough to work with Phillips. Everyone, that is, except Leonard McCoy.

“I don‘t understand it, Captain Kirk. Why did Dr. McCoy snap at me that way just now? What did I do wrong?”

You aren‘t Spock, Kirk wanted to answer the nice young man, but didn’t. Instead, he said, “Dr. McCoy has been under a strain, Commander. Just give him a little time. Maybe he‘ll warm to you.” But Kirk figured no amount of time would mellow McCoy to this new person. Nobody could take Spock‘s place for any of them, only the space he had once occupied.

 

Spock! Where are you, Spock?! Why did you leave me?! I need you, Spock! I hate to admit it, but I need you so much! Why wasn’t I enough?! Why?! If only you would have told me what you needed, I would’ve tried to be more for you! I would have treated you better! Surely, there is something more I could have done! Just, please, please! Tell me, and I’ll do it! 

But nothing answered McCoy’s cry into the night. Nothing waited for him out there but more loneliness. The universe was cold and dark and impersonal. Much like the heart of a certain Vulcan. No sanctuary was waiting for McCoy in those arms and that heart.

McCoy’s eyes flew open and he stared into the shadowy dimness around him. At first, he didn’t know where he was. Then he realized that he was in his quarters aboard the Enterprise. The small room with a shared bathroom had been his home for many years now as had the Enterprise in general. But ever since Spock had left, the Enterprise hadn’t felt like home.

And he’d done it again. He had called out to Spock in his sleep. When would his torment ever end? When could he erase the Vulcan from his mind the same way the Vulcan had cleansed his mind of the Enterprise, of Jim, and of him? When would that blessed numbness come to him? When could he finally forget the one who could forget him so easily?

Not tonight, he realized. Not for many nights to come, either. That was the hell he now faced.

McCoy turned violently and buried his head in his pillow. That didn’t ease his pain any, but it muffled the sound of his sobs so that he almost hid them from himself.

Almost.

 

Sometimes, his dreams were worse, if that was possible. Because, in those dreams, he and Spock found each other. And then they would roll in each others' arms through the universe and find fulfillment, over and over again, until they had no energy left except to smile at each other in exhaustion. Then they would finally sleep, and that would be almost as satisfying as the sex. Because they were finally contented and finally at peace. And finally together.

 

“Well, look who we have here,” Higgins from the Gallant said with a sneer as he looked at his buddies for back up. “If it isn’t Dr. McCoy, the Galahad of the Galaxy. And how are we this lovely evening, Dr. McCoy?”

McCoy looked around him. It was just him and Chekov. Kirk and some of the others were nearby, but not within hailing distance. They had all felt the need for some relaxation on Narsarya B, but somehow had gotten separated. McCoy would have to bluff this encounter out on his own. The main thing was to protect Chekov. A kid like him could be brutally hurt in a melee with these five thugs from the Gallant.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m busy. Buzz off, Higgins. I’m not interested in helping you feel like a big man in front of your men.”

“Oh? Not so brave tonight? Is that because you don’t have your Vulcan nanny with you? Where is your sweetheart, McCoy?”

“You know very well that Spock has gone back to Vulcan to undergo Kolinar. The whole damned galaxy seems to know that. I don’t know how you missed hearing that information.”

“Really?” Higgins looked around as he made sure that his men were all listening to him. Then he grinned at McCoy, and McCoy knew he’d made a mistake. “So, Spock was your sweetheart then.”

Oh, hell, McCoy muttered to himself. He’d walked into that one as if it was a closed door.

“Spock had new priorities,” McCoy answered, even though he felt he didn’t have to explain Spock’s actions to these guys.

“Yeah, I heard how Spock ran out on you and Kirk and the Enterprise, McCoy. Got scared of the Gallant and her crew, huh?”

“MR. Spock doesn’t scare that easily, Higgins. He simply made a career move that had nothing to do with you.”

“How about if it had to do with you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“ Come on, McCoy. I saw the looks you two gave each other. Real guys don‘t look that way at each other.”

“Real friends do.”

“You can‘t pass that off as friendship!”

“Dr. McCoy,” Chekov asked wide-eyed. “What is he talking about, sir?”

“Nothing, Pavel. He likes to hear himself talk, that‘s all. It means nothing.”

“Don‘t listen to him, kid.”

“You need to shut up now, Higgins.”

“Are you man enough to take me on, McCoy?”

“Brave talk with your four buddies with you.”

“They’re here just to cheer me on. I don’t need any help cleaning the floor up with your carcass. It‘ll be just you and me, McCoy. Maybe as a reward, I‘ll stick my probe up your ass. Let you know what a real man has between his legs.” 

The other crew members cheered him on.

“We are outside, aren’t we, Chekov?” McCoy asked.

Chekov innocently looked around. “Yes, sir. Why?”

“I wouldn’t want to disobey orders. You’ll make a note of that fact, won’t you? That we are outside?”

“O-of course, sir,” Chekov answered, although confused.

“And you will duly report it, won’t you?”

“O-of course, sir. Although I don’t know why--”

“I don’t, either. You’ll have to ask Higgins here.” McCoy nodded toward Higgins. “He’s hosting this little party.”

Chekov turned to Higgins, but there was something in Higgins’s sinister grin that made Chekov keep his peace. Instead, he turned to McCoy. “Dr. McCoy, is there going to be trouble?” Chekov asked with wide eyes.

“Not if I can help it, Chekov. Higgins just needs to blow off some steam. It makes him feel like a bigger man.”

“Oh, you’ve got another one on the string, have you, McCoy? This one’s kind of young, isn’t he? Weren't you pleasuring the Vulcan the way he likes it? I bet he likes all kinds of kinky stuff, doesn't he? It figures, as weird as he is.”

“Go get Jim and Scotty,” McCoy muttered with a new hardness to his voice.

“I’m not leaving you, Doctor.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Pavel, but get out of here before that jerk takes a shine to you. He‘s just the type to like pretty boys.”

Chekov shot a fearful look at Higgins, then nodded. “Aye, Dr. McCoy! But you be careful!”

“Just get out of here!” McCoy hissed.

Chekov hastily complied and disappeared into the shadows of the building.

“Hey, where’s the kid going?!”

“It’s past his bedtime. You said it yourself. He’s awfully young. Forget him. I'm the one you want, anyway.”

“I expect the kid was safe enough from you. Is that what happened with you and the Vulcan? Weren’t man enough for him, were you?”

“It was nothing like that--”

“Couldn’t satisfy him, could you? Or maybe you did. I’d like details.”

“I expect you have to live vicariously, don’t you? You don‘t get much on your own, do you?”

“Very funny, McCoy. I get enough. And it’s all prime. Either sex. They like me just fine. But I notice that you specialize. Like that alien meat, do you? I don’t blame you. I bet Spock’s a real juicy lay. I bet he can whimper and mew real pretty. Tell me, did you ever get Spock’s green blood boiling?” He gave McCoy a sinister grin. “Did you ever make him beg for it like the no account dog that he is?”

That’s the last coherent thing Higgins got said before McCoy tore into him.

 

Chekov came rushing up. “Captain Kirk! Captain Kirk!” 

“Whoa!” Kirk exclaimed as he grabbed the young man hurtling toward him. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Dr. McCoy!”

Kirk sobered. “What about McCoy?”

“He’s in a fight, sir! A terrible fight! With that Higgins from the Gallant! And there‘s others from the Gallant, too! Dr. McCoy will be slaughtered!”

Kirk looked around. “Scotty! Evans! Jones! Come with us! Chekov, show us where McCoy is!”

“This way, Captain!”

 

McCoy was bleeding profusely, but so was Higgins. Both of them were tired and halfway held each other up, but both kept slugging away at the other. Higgins was abetted by his four buddies who cheered as they formed a loose circle around the combatants. 

Kirk and the others heard the fight long before they saw it. Kirk muttered an expletive under his breath when he saw the bloody fighters valiantly beating on each other.

“Captain Kirk! Dr. McCoy is being hurt!”

Kirk made a grab for Chekov to prevent him from interfering with the fight. “No, Pavel! McCoy has to finish this by himself.”

“But--”

“Higgins’ men are keeping it fair. They haven’t ganged up on McCoy. We can’t gang up on Higgins, either.”

“But--”

“Haven’t been in many fist fights, have you?”

“No, sir. I’m only nineteen.’

“Just a baby,” Kirk muttered.

At that moment, a sickening crunch echoed in the night air, and Higgins dropped to the ground like a sodden sack. McCoy had landed a brutal uppercut to the face, breaking Higgins jaw on contact and three of McCoy’s fingers.

Kirk rushed up to McCoy who shook his stinging hand as he hunched over Higgins’ unmoving body.

“Bones!” He dodged a hay-maker as McCoy swung blindly with his left hand. “Bones! It’s Jim! Stop! Stop, now!”

“Oh, hell! Jim! What have I done?!” McCoy's face took on tragic features, then McCoy fell stiffly to his knees at Higgins’ side. “I’ve hurt a man!”

“He was going to hurt you, Bones. He egged you on.”

“There’s no excuse. No excuse for what I did.”

“You were defending yourself and Chekov. Higgins had you cornered.”

“Oh, Jim!”

“It’ll be okay.” Kirk wrapped his arms around the shoulders of the grieving man. “Hunter. Davis,” Kirk said to two of the men with Higgins. “You better get him out of here.”

“He’s bleeding,” McCoy said. “Treat him carefully. I hope he’ll be alright.” He looked up at the two men. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“If he’d landed the punch you did, Doc, he wouldn’t be apologizing for it now. He'd be pissing on your unconscious body.”

“Thanks, Hunter. Thanks for that.”

“Kirk is right. Ned egged you on.”

“Thanks, Davis.” McCoy wiped at the snot, tears, and blood smeared on his face. “You two, sit Higgins up. I think he’s coming around. Then you can get him back to the Gallant.”

Hunter and Davis hoisted the groggy Higgins up to a sitting position. Then suddenly he began sputtering and gasping.

“Move!” McCoy ordered as he dove for Higgins. “Let me at him! He’s choking!”

McCoy squatted behind Higgins, pulled Higgins into his arms against his chest, and angled Higgins so his airway was opened.

“Come on! Come on! Damn you! Breathe!” It was awkward, because he had to work with his left hand only.

It took a few minutes, but Higgins slowly came around and groaned.

“Are you okay?” McCoy demanded.

“Yeah,” Higgins answered as he pulled himself off McCoy‘s shoulder. “Sore as hell.” He looked backward up into McCoy’s face and recoiled. “Why the hell do you have a hold of me like this?! Are you making a move on me?!“

“You should get so lucky,“ McCoy muttered, but didn‘t let go of him. He looked up at Hunter and Davis. “With a broken jaw, you have to watch for bleeding and choking. I think he‘ll be alright now. Just get him to emergency treatment.”

“Gosh, McCoy, you saved his life,” Davis said

“But--”

Kirk touched McCoy’s other shoulder and stared hard into McCoy‘s eyes. “You saved the life of this man, Dr. McCoy. Stop denying it and accept what you did. This is no place for false modesty. You are a hero.”

McCoy gave Kirk a look that said, What the hell. Alright. Have it your way. I saved this guy's life. But it's just what I do. I'm a doctor, after all.

McCoy might as well have spoken. Kirk received McCoy‘s answer, nodded slightly in agreement, and released McCoy‘s shoulder. Kirk was pleased. McCoy had followed his captain’s orders, even if the doctor did not understand or agree with them. Kirk had his reasons.

McCoy looked up at the man who had credited him with saving Higgins. “It’s nothing you couldn’t have done, Davis.”

“We wouldn’t have thought about it in time to have saved him. Ned will appreciate that when he settles down. You won’t have any more trouble with the crew of the Gallant, McCoy. Hunter and I will see to that. You‘re alright, Doc.” 

“You really are the Galahad of the Galaxy,” Hunter said in awe. “Not many guys would’ve helped someone like you just did. Especially since that guy had done you so much wrong.”

Now McCoy understood Kirk‘s orders. He glanced up and saw Kirk‘s slight nod of approval. Kirk had just fixed McCoy‘s problem with the men of the Gallant. “I’m no Galahad, guys,” McCoy said sheepishly to the men. “I’m just an old country doctor trying to do the best job he knows how.”

“And doing alright by it, too,” Davis said.

“Yeah,” Hunter echoed.

McCoy could hear the respect in their voices. “Thanks, Davis, Hunter. Take him now. Watch his jaw.” He pulled away so they could help their friend. McCoy looked up when Kirk moved back to his side.

They watched as Higgins’s friends dragged him away. 

“Come on, Bones,” Kirk said. “Let’s get you home. You have broken bones. You need treatment. Your hands are your life.”

“Oh, Jim, I’m not an animal,” McCoy lamented as Kirk and Scotty helped him to his feet. “I’m not this way.”

“Of course, you aren’t,” Kirk agreed as they stumbled along, he and Scotty on either side of McCoy. “Pavel said that Higgins said some bad things about you, and then he started in on Spock.”

“I couldn’t take that, Jim. Spock wasn’t here to defend himself. Nobody can talk about him that way! Nobody!”

“I know, Bones. I would’ve done the same thing.”

“But it was wrong! Damn it, Jim! I’m a doctor, not a boxer! And now I’ve busted my hand. I’ll never operate again!”

“Shh. Yes, you will. We’ll get you patched up. The bone knitter will make your hand as good as new. You’ll be better in no time.”

McCoy stopped. Kirk and Scott stopped, too.

“What’s wrong, Bones?”

“It just finally hit me,” McCoy said in wonder. “I beat up a man. Me, Leonard McCoy. I‘m built like a banty rooster, but I took on a bulldog. And won!”

Kirk grinned. “Yeah, you did. Then you saved him. Your reputation is now assured. Nobody in the galaxy will bother you now. The crews of the Enterprise and the Gallant will see to that. This calls for a celebration. You are the undisputed Galahad of the Galaxy! What are you going to do about it first?”

McCoy showed them. He bent over and vomited all over Chekov’s boots.

 

“All right, Ambassador Sarek,” Kirk said, “McCoy and I are here, just as you requested.”

“Thank you for meeting my stipulations,” the image on the screen said brusquely.

Kirk glanced at McCoy and realized that they’d gotten the same reaction to Spock’s father. Sarek was not happy to be calling them, he was not feeling diplomatic, and neither of those conditions was about to change in him very soon. Kirk and McCoy were used to Spock’s deadpan demeanor, but his father had always seemed gracious to them. Now they had the feeling that Sarek was about to lose his temper and was, in fact, hostile. It crossed the mind of both of them that they had no idea what they had done to stir the apparent wrath in Sarek.

Kirk decided to forego opening pleasantries since it appeared that they would be so obviously wasted. “What may we do for you, Ambassador?”

“It is Spock.”

McCoy gasped and Jim sat forward. “Is he alright?!”

“Physically, yes.”

McCoy and Kirk both let out relieved breaths.

Sarek had seen the panic he had stirred and felt sheepish. He had been so concerned about his problem that he had forgotten to be diplomatic. These were, after all, friends of his son, and he should treat them accordingly. “I am sorry to have alarmed you gentlemen. I know that you care for Spock’s welfare.”

“We always will, Ambassador, even if he is no longer with us.”

“For heaven’s sake, Captain Kirk," Sarek scolded crossly. "There is no need for you to be so dramatic. My son is not dead.”

“He is to us,” Kirk affirmed. “Or rather, we are to him.”

“His choice, Ambassador, not ours,” McCoy mumbled. 

“You two are not dead to Spock, McCoy,” Sarek grumbled. "Especially you."

McCoy frowned, but Kirk held up his hand and McCoy held his peace.

“Excuse me, Ambassador.” Kirk frowned, trying to understand. “How can that be? Dr. McCoy and I understood that when your son underwent Kolinar, all of his past memories would be erased, including us. Why aren’t we dead to him?”

“Because he did not undergo Kolinar,” Sarek mumbled.

McCoy’s face lit up with delighted animation. Jim grinned, then tried to control it as he asked his next question.

“Excuse me, Ambassador. Did you say that Spock did not undergo Kolinar?”

“That is correct, Captain Kirk,” Sarek answered sullenly. “Are you having problems with your communication devices? I can understand you perfectly.”

“No,” Kirk answered as he grinned at McCoy who grinned back. “We just did not want to misunderstand you. Spock is his old self, then.”

“No!” Sarek thundered.

The grins were wiped off the faces of Kirk and McCoy to be replaced with concern again.

“That is the problem, Captain. My son is not his old self.”

“Do you care to explain?”

“I would be happy to comply with your request, but I cannot explain it to myself, let alone to anyone else.”

Kirk had forgotten that Spock was not the only Vulcan who made literal interpretations of language.

“Can you describe his behavior to us then, Ambassador?”

“He is depressed and angry and uncommunicative. If I did not know better, I would say that he has reverted back to his rebellious teenage years. Except he never had a period of rebellion, unless you count his decision to attend Starfleet Academy instead of going to school here on Vulcan.”

“Why is he doing this, Ambassador?”

“I would say it is because he could not complete Kolinar. Not that he would not complete it, mind you. He COULD not complete it. There seem to be complications from the life he led with you two. Complications resulting from relationship issues, issues from his Earthling side. Therefore, since it involves human emotions, I cannot help him. I do not understand his problem. He will not tell me what the trouble is. He is uncommunicative. He will not even TRY discussing the matter with me. I have surmised that it involves weaknesses inherited from his mother's side, though," Sarek said with disgust. "Spock just sits around all day looking sullen and getting on everyone‘s nerves. And when I ask him to explain, he just glares at me and walks away. It is very disconcerting behavior.“

Kirk and McCoy exchanged amused glances.

“I believe that we can relate to your frustration, Ambassador.“

“I thought that perhaps you and Dr. McCoy could. You two were always the ones who were closest to Spock on the Enterprise. You might be able to help him now.”

“We will most certainly try, Ambassador."

"I believe that my son's life, and happiness, depends on you two and his renewed service aboard the Enterprise. I also believe that should happen quickly." Sarek scowled. "The quicker the better."

Kirk felt like jumping up, grabbing McCoy in his arms, and dancing around his quarters. Spock was coming home! Well, being sent home. But, HOME, nonetheless! "We’ll set a course for Vulcan immediately, Ambassador, and be there as soon as we can.”

“Thank you, Captain. I will most certainly appreciate it. And hurry. Please!” His exasperation echoed in his voice as the signal went dead.

“Well, he didn’t waste any time or words signing off, did he?” McCoy noted.

“That’s strange, isn’t it? Sarek is generally very cordial. Spock must really have him frustrated.”

“Everyone can understand now what I’ve always been saying! He’s bullheaded! Opinionated! Obstinate! Just wait until I get my hands on that pointed-eared hobgoblin--”

“Bones--”

“What does he mean, scaring the hell out of us like that!” Angry tears smarted in his eyes, and that angered McCoy that his annoyance and relief were tearing him up so much. "Damn idiot! Putting us through all that! He deserves a damn good beating for what he's done!

“Bones, I know you’re relieved that he didn’t undergo Kolinar. So am I. But I recommend that you do not attempt to intimidate or to chastise Spock. You might give him back the incentive to go ahead with the ceremony, anyway. You might send him over the edge for good. Seeing us might even strengthen his resolve, and we don’t want that.” He glanced at McCoy who seemed to look deflated from the resolve of a moment ago. “Do we?”

McCoy frowned, but conceded, He knew that Kirk was right. “No, we don’t.”

“Good. Now, I know that we’ll both be excited to see him again. But we’ll have to remember to be cautious. We’ll need to tread carefully around him until we learn just what is going on with him.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Well, James T., you have a chance to redeem yourself.”

“Don‘t remind me, Irene. It‘s eaten at my craw ever since Spock left.”

“I know,” she agreed wearily. “Such dyspepsia that we shared! It was almost as bad as during a gestation period.”

“Oh? If that‘s the only misery that a pregnant woman experiences, I don‘t what women have been hollering about for eons upon eons.”

“If you believe that is the only phenomenon that a woman experiences, I’m sure that any woman would gladly share with you, or even trade to you, her fetus, until its birth. Then you could completely undergo the vast array of physical anomalies which gleefully entertain a woman during pregnancy.”

“Just when McCoy decides to backpedal with sarcasm, you decide to take over?”

“James! Do not make me out to be a fishwife. I assure you, you would not wish to make me angry. I could make any fishwife blush with shame and tremble in fear. You, my dear, would fare much less.”

Kirk smirked. “I suppose you are threatening me with all the wrath that could come down at me from Mount Olympus. I have news for you. I’d have to believe in Mount Olympus first. Gods I don‘t believe in can‘t harm me.”

“Oh, James, don‘t be so smug and self-assured. You believe. Maybe not in Mount Olympus, but in me. And that is where the wrath would come from, not from Mount Olympus. Besides, it’s not my wrath that frightens you. You don’t want to lose me.”

He gave her a sad smile. “No, I don’t. I’m on the verge of losing my best two friends in my everyday world. Please don’t deprive me of you, too. I need you.” 

“I know you do, James. That is one thing that makes you so appealing. You need people so much, and they respond to that. You make them feel special.”

He shrugged. “They are special.”

“See? And, if all else fails, you tell them blatantly that you love them. You wouldn’t hesitate to proclaim it from the pulpit of any church or from the highest steeple of any church. And that show of unashamed devotion always seems to win people over, especially Dr. McCoy and Mr. Spock.”

“And they believe me. Bless their hearts, and mine, they believe me.” He frowned. “How can they believe me and not each other?”

“They don‘t trust each other with their hearts. If Mr. Spock would just let Leonard know of his deep feelings for him, a lot of the tension would be eliminated in their relationship. Leonard so wants to know that he is important to Mr. Spock. That is the deep hunger in most humans. They just want to be loved and accepted by the people who mean something to them. Leonard is unfortunate, however, in choosing Mr. Spock to love as Mr. Spock has difficulty in accepting tenderness and in expressing his own regards in return.”

“Wait a minute! How do you know all of this? Have you been manipulating their feelings for each other?!”

“Wasn‘t that what you were trying to do, James? Why do you find that activity so alarming in me?”

“A mere Earthling interfering is one thing, but a Greek goddess getting in on the action? The guys won‘t have a chance, especially Spock.”

“The ‘guys,’ as you call them, still have free choice, as I have said. I am not causing behavior in them that they would not have done on their own. I am just giving them a little shove in the right direction. The seeds were already planted before I started influencing them. As with mesmerism, or hypnotism, as some have called it, the subject will not do anything that it is vehemently against. So it is with Mr. Spock and Leonard.”

“Just how are you influencing them? I cannot believe that Mr. Spock would readily take to this sort of brainwashing.”

“Everyone must sleep, even Mr. Spock who requires less rest than humans. That is when I visit him.”

“That‘s not very nice, Irene.”

“I thought you would approve of my influence, James. In fact, I thought you would be pleased. After all, I got the idea from you.”

“Want to back off now? I want anything between the guys to come from their hearts, not from you or me. Okay?”

Irene sighed. “Alright, James. But you realize that we are taking quite a chance with those two, don‘t you?”

Kirk sighed back. “I know. But that‘s what I want for them. Please?”

“Oh, the ‘please‘ word. Alright, James T. But it won‘t be as much fun.”

“I know. But it will be more honest.”

“Ah, James T. My human with so much ethics ruling him. That‘s what saves you, James, for me. Did you know that?”

He gave her his best lazy, sexy grin. “No, I didn‘t know that about you.”

“Otherwise, you‘d be just another sex-driven, over-confident, foolhardy knave.”

His grin deepened. “And you‘d still love me?”

“Am I that easily read?”

“Yes, my beauty, you are.”

She sighed. “Oh, alright, you‘ve got me.”

“Yes, I do, my lovely. And I‘m never letting you go.”

 

At least the Vulcans made a united front when Kirk and McCoy arrived for their audience with them. Spock and Sarek looked equally sullen and were unresponsive as Kirk and McCoy approached them.

“Ambassador. Mr. Spock.” Kirk nodded to both of them. 

Spock seemed to pull into himself, and his father acted barely able to contain his anger and frustration. This was a new experience for Kirk. He was the calmest and friendliest one in this group of four. Even McCoy, who had been so eager to see Spock again, hung back. Kirk didn’t know what his problem was. McCoy wasn’t one to be shy or mince words. But now, here he was, giving furtive glances at the Vulcans while he seemed hugely interested in a minute study of his service boots. Maybe he was simply following orders, though. That was a first, Kirk thought.

“Captain Kirk, I thank you for your prompt arrival.”

“We came as quickly as we could, Ambassador. We are pleased to see you and your son looking in such good health.”

“I see that you Earthlings do not labor under the same restrictions as we Vulcans. You seem to be able to lie at will,” Sarek said without humor.

“It is called diplomacy,” Kirk said with a clever smile. “It is a subject that I studied at Starfleet Academy.”

“And here I thought it was something that came naturally to you.”

Ouch! Whatever it was called, Sarek wasn’t using it. He must be at his wit’s end and ready to hand over his unruly son who must be causing him all sorts of problems.

Kirk took a deep, inner breath and turned to Spock. “Mr. Spock, I trust we find you well, also?”

“Earthlings always have been too trusting,” Spock snipped. All Kirk had been expecting from him was a formal, “Captain.” 

Double ouch! Kirk had hoped for more from Spock, so he shouldn’t complain when he had gotten it. These Vulcans could benefit from sensitivity training. The normally glib Kirk was about out of topics to discuss so early in the game, and his diplomacy skills seemed inadequate. He could start negotiations, but even he required responsive feedback. Everyone else seemed in a snit. He was ready to ditch charm, and join this catty pity party.

“I see that Dr. McCoy has accompanied you, Captain,” Sarek said, trying, at last, to add a little finesse to the proceedings.

“Yes!” Sarek had sounded almost pleasant when he saw McCoy, so Kirk reached behind himself and forcefully pulled McCoy forward. “He is as ready as I am to offer his services.” His hand hardened on McCoy’s arm. “Say hello to our hosts, Doctor.” He felt like he was shepherding around a five-year-old brat who had hated to get dressed up and was not reluctant to show his chagrin at his forced attendance.

“Ambassador Sarek,” McCoy greeted in monotones as he stared in the general direction of Sarek‘s left shoulder. “MR. Spock,” he mumbled without looking even in the general direction of his old nemesis. He had stressed the 'mister' part of Spock's name with just a small amount of his usual sarcasm. He'd treat Spock with the respect that was due the Vulcan, but that's where McCoy's sociability would end. If pressed for further input, he would simply resort to grunting. And Kirk knew it. It was enough that the monkey was in attendance. Nothing could persuade the monkey to dance. And Kirk knew that, also.

Silence fell on the group while Kirk and Sarek hunted for something to say. McCoy and Spock weren’t even interested in helping the conversation along.

“Gentlemen, shall we go into dinner?” Sarek invited at last with a raised hand.

That gesture proved to be the highlight of the evening. Kirk sat at the dining table among the three mute men whose greatest pleasure seemed to be in seeing who could be the most taciturn. Nobody even wanted to talk about the weather, and forget about their health! 

Generally, any group of men past their twenties would have some aches and pains that they would want to share. Not this group. One of them could’ve been sitting there with a sword thrust through his body, but would’ve been reluctant to draw attention to the fact. Major bleeding from that wound could’ve been spurting all over that immaculately laid table, and the injured party would not have asked for assistance. Nor would anyone else have noticed the dire straits of the man with the mortal wound.

Kirk considered stomping on McCoy’s foot just to hear some noise or start a discussion rolling. McCoy surely would’ve made some sort of comment in passing about the unnecessary pain he was experiencing. Surely, that would have made an impression on him. Nothing else was.

There was a wide variety of dishes on the table, but everything was vegetarian. Now, Kirk liked his vegetables and all, but after the third serving of something that looked like sieved blue squash and tasted like old boots, he was ready for an honest to goodness, three-inch steak. It didn’t even have to be cooked. Just run the cow by, and he would’ve cut a thick slice off as it passed him. Hell, forget the knife! He could've bitten the meat off!

Jim Kirk began to plan his perfect meal. Maybe his daydreams about more appetizing food would keep him from falling asleep in that blue quivering mess staring up at him from his plate.

Kirk's mouth watered as he envisioned his menu. Top that three-inch steak with sautéed mushrooms surrounded by shrimp scampi on the side. Some good ol’ surf and turf would be really welcomed! Add a huge baked potato swimming in parsley and chive butter and sour cream. Maybe some unsnapped green beans sautéed until just tender. Throw some slivered almonds in the beans for crunch. Add a huge salad with all kinds of raw vegetables to please Dr. McCoy about Kirk’s diet. And finally, a rich reward for being such a good boy during the rest of the meal. Make that chocolate cake topped with fudge sauce and caramel crunch ice cream for dessert. Kirk might not have been able to have walked after a meal like that, but at least he would‘ve stumbled away from the table satisfied and sated. Someone else could have his blue squash.

Kirk sighed. His imagination was going to be better fed than his stomach, he realized.

It was a long, boring evening, and he was happy when it was finally over.

 

“What was that all about?” he asked McCoy back in their suite.

“What was what all about?” McCoy asked, not really interested as he unbuttoned the jacket of his dress uniform, then sat down with a heavy sigh in a comfy chair.

“That Quaker Meeting we just attended! I thought you were so anxious to give Spock a piece of your mind. You didn’t even give him a piece of your attention! And you just pecked at your food.”

“So did you!“

“After three servings, I got my fill of blue squash, or whatever in the hell that quivering mess was. It looked like they’d pureed some Smurfs! And it tasted like they’d left their boots on them."

"Impossible," McCoy mumbled. "The Vulcans are vegetarians. They wouldn't have served anything with that much first-class protein in it. Relax. The Smurfs are safe. They're probably full of bad cholesterol, anyway. The Vulcans didn't puree any Smurfs up as a treat for us. It wouldn't have dawned on them to have served us anything unhealthy and, thereby, delicious."

"Just saying. That main dish look awfully suspicious."

"Relax, Jim. I doubt if Smurfs are indigenous to Vulcan, anyway. They'd be too cute for the Vulcans to have allowed to survive. The Vulcans would have eradicated them centuries ago, just because Vulcans can't stand anything having a good time."

Sometimes, Kirk wondered how in the hell he had gotten into these ridiculous conversations. He didn't want to talk about Smurfs. He wanted to discuss their friend. "Now, about Spock. Why were you so quiet?“

“You said not to intimidate or chastise him. I was just following orders. You said to be cautious around him. I was being cautious. We didn’t want to remind him about why he had left the Enterprise, remember? We had to be careful so he wouldn’t resolve to go ahead with the Kolinar." He scowled at Kirk. "Weren’t you listening when you said all of that to me?”

“If you followed all of that, it’s the first time you obeyed an order exactly! Why now?”

McCoy looked tired and sounded it when he sighed and closed his eyes. “Because I don’t want to lose him again.” 

Kirk frowned.

“I’m trying not to piss him off, Jim. I seem to have that knack. And it sounds like, according to Sarek, that Spock's green skin is pretty thin.“

“He has that same knack with you.“

McCoy looked at Kirk. “I’m not the important one here. He is.“

“Bones, you’ll always be important,“ Kirk said softly. “To me, and to everyone else on the Enterprise.“

“Well, right now I’m not the one who is in a self-centered snit and threatening to leave the Enterprise for good if someone crosses him. That may come some day, but not now. Somehow, we have to convince that juvenile delinquent to come home. We‘re what is best for him, Jim. His father said as much. Spock really doesn’t fit in anywhere in the universe better than he fits in with us. And if it takes keeping my mouth shut for the rest of the time I know him, I‘ll do it. I‘ll do anything I can to make that pointed-eared Vulcan stay with us, even to changing my personality.“ He looked at Kirk. “See, I really do want the same thing you do. I want Spock back, too." He settled back into the chair and closed his eyes. "You can‘t imagine how much I want that,” he mumbled.

A stunned look came over Kirk’s face. “Oh, my God! Why didn’t I see it before?! You really are in love with him!”

McCoy frowned at Kirk with one eye open. “Don’t broadcast that around. We’re on a planet where the natives all have supersonic hearing.” He looked away in disgust. “Don’t even fart too loud around here. Just ooze them out, if you can. Or you’ll offend a whole city and embarrass Spock." A wicked grin crossed his lips. "On second thought, that might not be such a bad idea. Wake him up a little. Go ahead. Rip off a barn leveler. Get Spock's goat. It'll be good for him to have to explain about us, for a change.” 

Kirk couldn’t get the grin off his face. “I’d hoped it was true, about you and Spock. Irene said it was. She was helping you all along, you know.”

McCoy frowned at him. “Who’s Irene? I’ve never heard you mention her before.”

“Oh, someone you don’t know,” Kirk answered backpedaling. 

“There’s nobody named Irene on the Enterprise. Where else could you have met her that I wouldn’t know about? And the way you’re talking, you’ve known her for awhile. She must be pretty special, too. Your eyes are shining the way they do when you‘re talking about a special lady or eyeing a dinner buffet.“

Kirk smiled wistfully. “She is special. She’s a goddess.”

McCoy turned away. “Well, if you don’t want to talk about her--”

“Bones!” Kirk said with a laugh. “It isn’t that I don’t want to talk about her. You just wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

McCoy turned back. “Try me. I need something to divert me away from a crazy Vulcan who seems to be going through his second adolescence. As least that’s what his father says, and Sarek should know. He raised that mixed up batch of contradictions.”

“Yes, he did, didn’t he?”

“One stone raising another stone. No wonder Spock turned out the way he did.”

“Don’t forget that Amanda Grayson helped raise him, also.”

McCoy smiled fondly. “Ah, yes! The sweet Amanda! How lucky Spock was!”

“Yes, wasn’t he? All three of us were raised by wonderful women. They gave us our fine appreciation for the fairer sex. We‘ll salute them as soon as I find a bottle of whiskey and a couple of glasses.”

“In the meantime, tell me more about this Irene you’ve been trying to make me forget.”

“She’s the Greek goddess of peace.”

“Yeah, sure. And I expect she lives in your head and advises you.”

“That, she does.”

McCoy studied Kirk with the look of disbelief. “Now, if you’d told me that Aphrodite, or Venus, as the Romans called her, the goddess of love, lived inside your head, that I’d believe.” He turned away. “But in your case, Aphrodite would probably be living in your pants, and not your head.”

“How do you know she doesn’t?”

McCoy glanced back with a look that said, ‘Okay, I’ll play along.’ “Because you’d have one hell of a woman war going on in your body. I’ve never seen two women living peacefully in any place, for whatever reason.”

“Well, you and Spock aren’t giving me your opposite viewpoints anymore. I guess the Greek goddesses have taken over.”

“So, Irene in your head is logic. That’s Spock. And Aphrodite in your drawers is emotion. That’s supposed to be me?!”

Kirk shrugged.

McCoy turned away in disgust. “Well, just call me ‘Miss Prissy Pants’ since that’s apparently what I represent to you!”

“Bones!” Kirk pleaded with a laugh. “I love you for what you are to me! Nothing less.” He gave McCoy a pointed look. “Nothing more.”

“Well, I’m happy to hear that. And I’m glad I’m not living in your pants. I’d have to wear a gas mask if you’re oozing out all of those farts, not to mention the real room clearers you sometimes can manufacture.”

Kirk gave him a lazy grin. “But think of the fun you’d have in my pants. You’d get to see all of the action I get. It‘s rarely quiet down there.”

“It’d probably turn me blind,” McCoy mumbled. “Isn’t one of those gods supposed to be blind?”

“Maybe that’s what blinded him.” Kirk was enjoying this game. “Maybe he was camped out in somebody’s underpants and saw too much.”

“Maybe you’ll have the whole Greek pantheon of gods and goddesses in your drawers before this is over.”

“Who knows?”

“Imagine,” McCoy mused. “Spock and I are so great that we can only be replaced by the Greek pantheon. At last, greatness!”

“But you’d have to share that distinction with Spock.”

“I’m willing.” McCoy frowned. “But I doubt if Spock would want to share anything with me.” He looked around. “Now, where is that damned whiskey you were going to find? I think I need it now. Too many images.” He glanced at Kirk’s nether regions south of Kirk’s belt buckle. “I believe I just got too much information. I know I‘ll never look at your trousers the same way again.”

“I hope you never look at my trousers, except in a professional capacity.”

“You should get so lucky, Kirk. Dream on.”

Kirk smirked at him.

McCoy pointedly cleared his throat. “Whiskey? You were getting whiskey? For your thirsty friend?”

“Oh, yeah!" Kirk stirred himself. "Sorry. I forgot.”

Whiskey isn’t what you’re needing, my friend, Kirk thought. But I’ll find the substitute for you, and hope that you can eventually replace it with what you’re really needing: the pointed-eared, green-blooded Vulcan who has stolen your heart.

Kirk sighed. He only hoped that the pointed-eared, green-blooded Vulcan knew what to do with that tender heart that was bleeding inside itself for him and him alone.


	8. Chapter 8

At least the next day, Spock was more approachable. Maybe the fact that Kirk and McCoy were actually near him again was doing the magical soothing and smoothing that Sarek had hoped their presence could accomplish. 

Kirk also noted that being around Spock had perked McCoy up. Well, at least the good doctor was back to being somewhat like his old self again. Kirk sighed. It was too bad that meant that McCoy’s sarcasm was again evident as it had been after the disastrous meal of blue squash. Kirk shuddered. Squash shouldn’t be blue. Or taste like old boots.

“I’m glad that you’re sounding like the Spock I remember,“ Kirk said as they stood a little apart from the festivities of the informal tea the next afternoon.

“I appreciate seeing so many familiar faces from the Enterprise,“ Spock said, surveying the crowded room before them.

“The crew appreciates any opportunity for shore leave,“ Kirk said, bemused, as he looked around at the animated faces of his crew as they mingled with the Vulcans. “This is quite a treat for them. Your father had a very good idea to invite them down here.“

Spock looked back at Kirk. “I suppose that you realize that my father is trying to entice me to go back to the Enterprise.“

“And will you be enticed?“

“I believe so, Captain. I realize now that I made a mistake in coming here to do Kolinar.“

Kirk breathed deeply in relief. “That is good news, Mr. Spock.”

"I am amazed at the pleasure that the presence of all of you is bringing to me."

"Father knows best," Kirk murmured. He also wondered if Sarek was astute enough to realize that his son had feelings for Dr. McCoy, when Spock was being noncommittal about the subject. Of course, Sarek was! Kirk realized. Sarek had pointedly asked for McCoy's presence and had pointedly greeted McCoy. Kirk's eyes twinkled. Sarek was a wily, old fox who really did love his son, after all, and wanted the best thing for him. Father does know best, for sure! 

“As the Twentieth Century novelist Thomas Wolfe noted," Spock was continuing, "you indeed cannot go home again. This period of togetherness between my father and me has not been the most productive. Far from it. To put it bluntly, I do believe that we got on each others' nerves.“

“That happens in families. I believe that it happened within our family aboard the Enterprise.“

“I assume you are referring to the confrontations between Dr. McCoy and myself.“

“Yes. I believe that friction between you two actually inspired your decision to undergo Kolinar, didn’t it?“

“I said that was not true at the time, but now I am not certain about that assessment. Distance makes situations appear differently.“

Kirk gave Spock his best sexy smile. “It also makes the heart grow fonder, my friend.“

“I did not realize that you were turning into a hopeless romantic, Captain,” Spock snipped in defense.

Boy, was Spock tight about this subject! “I did not realize that you were losing your diplomacy, Mr. Spock.”

“Nor you, yours.”

“Wait. Time out. Next, we’ll be fighting. I don't want that, and I'm sure you don't, either. What’s happening to us, Spock? You didn't used to be so thin-skinned.”

Spock took a deep breath and exhaled it. “My father believes that I am at last going through puberty. He says that I am the worst rebellious teenager that he has ever seen.”

Kirk’s eyes twinkled. “That explains you. What would he think of my being snarky just now?”

“He would think that it is catching. He would say that you have been around Dr. McCoy too long.”

Kirk gave Spock an assessing look. “You’re better than when McCoy and I first got here. At least you can relate again, and seem alive. Yesterday, you were rather wooden. It was like you had sent your body to greet us, but had kept your mind home to meditate. Your father seems better today, also.”

“My father is happier. Almost gleeful. I wonder if he himself is going through some sort of puberty at his age.”

“No,” Kirk mumbled, thinking that Sarek was considering the crew of the Enterprise to be the rescuing cavalry. “Probably just relief.”

“Most astute.”

Spock, then, did realize the havoc he had been causing to his father. “Did his house get smaller when you were under his roof?” Kirk asked.

Spock looked pained. “Indeed. It was amazing how quickly twenty rooms can shrink to almost the size of a small cage.”

Kirk nodded in agreement.

“You seem to be able to relate to these scenarios yourself, Captain.”

“I remember going through puberty, and my family making similar statements.”

“I expect that Dr. McCoy did not cause his family any similar discomforts.”

“That genteel group? If he did, Spock, his parents would have been too refined to have said something. Courtly aristocrats from the Deep South do not recognize plebeian problems such as teenage rebellion.”

“I thought you were going to say that Dr. McCoy never came out on the other side of puberty, Captain. That he was still experiencing symptoms.”

“I would think that was something you would say,” Kirk said with a bite to his words. “Wouldn’t that explain his present behavior toward you?”

“Do you believe that I consider Dr. McCoy to be an enemy?”

“Don’t you?”

“Perhaps.”

“Or, at least a worthy adversary?”

“And how do you consider that Dr. McCoy perceives me?”

“How do you think he perceives you?”

Spock frowned. “I do not know. He has not spoken ten words to me. And most of those were superficial, formal words. Sometimes, it was no more than grunts. His vocabulary seems to have shrunken dramatically since I left the Enterprise. Apparently, he had no one to keep his dialogue sharpened.”

“Perhaps he thinks that’s all you want to hear from him.”

“I suppose I have been condescending to him down through the years.”

“You can see that?!”

“Could he not?”

“He took you at face value, Spock. He did not realize that sometimes you were just being playful. You hurt him.”

Spock grimaced. “You are being harsh, Captain.”

“He’s my friend, too. I don’t like what you do to him sometimes. It’s funny to watch, but I expect it isn’t very nice to be on the receiving end of your ploys. I know you don‘t understand, Spock, but what you do to him can hurt. And it‘s doubly hard on him because he’s always wanted your friendship. You‘ve made him feel shunned and unsure of himself. Have you no concept of how that could tear him up?”

“I understand emotional pain and suffering, Jim.”

“Sometimes, it’s hard to tell that you do.”

Spock frowned. "I understand it, and I am sorry if I caused Dr. McCoy to experience it."

"Why don't you tell Dr. McCoy that?" Kirk said softly. "I think he would like to hear it from you."

Spock's frown deepened. Then he looked away from the noise of the formal reception. “What is wrong with Dr. McCoy, anyway? He does not look well.”

Kirk frowned slightly. “Don’t you know?” 

Spock's gaze was condescending as he looked back at Kirk. “Captain, if I knew, I would not have asked.”

“Of course, Mr. Spock. Well, he hasn’t been well.”

“I have ascertained that, Captain. I could tell that when you two appeared on Vulcan. His quietness was also alarming. Previously, that condition would have been most welcomed. This time, it was, instead, disturbing since it was so unnatural.“

“I see. So, you did notice?“ Kirk asked, wondering how much information to share with Spock, how much he should protect McCoy‘s confidences, how much he should speculate on McCoy‘s problems, how much of a hint to drop to Spock. Of course, he sighed inwardly, Spock was generally pretty clueless when it came to subtle hints. An emotional bat over the head of the Vulcan might help. Anyway, that's what Kirk wanted to use.

“I see by your face that this is causing you a dilemma of conscience, Captain. Please do not compromise any confidences that Dr. McCoy may have shared with you. I simply wished to know if you knew the reason why his health has deteriorated since I last saw him.”

“Of course.” Kirk made a show of thinking of an answer. “Well, it really hasn’t been a physical malady that has afflicted him, but it has manifested itself with physical illnesses for him.” He could see almost impatience on Spock’s face. That was something new. Spock had always made a practice of never showing impatience. Sarek had said, though, that Spock had been having difficulty with handling his emotions. “It seems, Mr. Spock, that Dr. McCoy has a sickness of spirit.”

“Indeed, Captain.”

“He has been experiencing a feeling of hopelessness, if you will.” He saw Spock’s frown of concern. “This feeling descended over him shortly after you left the Enterprise, and he has been unable to shake it.” Kirk turned away with a sigh. “Not that he wanted to,” he mumbled, almost to himself, wondering if Spock would take the bait.

“Captain?” Spock asked with worry on his face.

Landed him, Kirk thought, then turned back. “He’s in a funk, and that’s where he wants to be. He snaps at anybody who gets too close to him,” he added with a slight twist of his lips to show his frustration and disgust. “He’s been known to snap at Christine Chapel. Christine Chapel, for heaven's sake! And you know what a sweet, gentle soul she is. It really upset her, because she was just trying to make him feel better.”

“But, why would he want to maintain such a mental state if it makes him feel miserable?”

“It’s a sort of protection, Mr. Spock. It makes him feel something, even if it’s negative. We humans do that sort of thing when we can’t handle a situation any other way. I know it’s illogical to you, but the man had to have something to live for, so he chose antagonism.”

“He had you, and the rest of the Enterprise crew, and his work. His life should have been full.”

Kirk gave him his best flirty look. “Yes, he had all that, and it still wasn’t enough. Thank goodness he had all of us to fall back on, but we haven’t been able to fill in all of the spaces of his life yet. I doubt if we ever can.” He stared at Spock. “I’ll make it clearer. He missed you. We all did. But he really missed you. A big chunk of his life was gone.“ Kirk let that soak in. “I suppose you never realized that you could be that important to someone, did you?”

“No, Captain, I did not.” He frowned. “Are you certain about all of this?”

“It’s just conjecture, of course. Only Dr. McCoy knows for sure. And he may not want to admit it. He has his pride, too, you know.” Kirk sighed. “Yes, pride. Another one of those pesky sins that plagues mankind that causes us all sorts of nasty emotional problems.” He glanced at Spock. “I suppose you look at that as another sign of weakness in a mere Earthling, don’t you? Me, I see it as another layer of what makes Dr. McCoy a human being and, thereby, interesting. Even if it does drive a person to distraction,” he muttered as an aside. Then he looked back at Spock. “You do not appreciate that type of layer in a person, I suppose. But I do.”

“We do not appreciate, or even admire, the same traits in a person’s character, it appears.”

“Don’t we?” Kirk was back to looking flirty. “I think we both appreciate Dr. McCoy for who he is and for what he is. We both can admire his uniqueness. Just as he and I admire that trait in you.”

“I am unique?”

“Oooh, yes!” Kirk answered with an eye roll.

“Odd. I do not look upon myself as being unique.”

“Well, in a roomful of other Vulcans, I suppose not. But being with us on the Enterprise, you can show up pretty damn peculiar sometimes. And I don‘t mean just your pointed ears.”

“Captain, I hardly believe that type of language is called for. Profanity does not need to be present when gentlemen are speaking.”

“Perhaps not. But sometimes, Mr. Spock, you can just frustrate the hell out of me. Have you ever realized that?”

“Yes, I have, Captain,” Spock answered with a sigh.

“And sometimes it’s frustrating as hell trying to be the perfect person that you require of us.”

“If it is so frustrating then why, pray tell, do you Earthlings attempt perfection in imperfect yourselves for my benefit?”

“Come on, Spock. You can ask that? Why do you suppose that frail, erratic, imperfect, emotionally driven Earthlings would try to please you? What could be our possible motive? Why should we put yourselves through that torture just for you?”

He watched Spock working on the brain teaser and saw the moment that Spock solved it. Then he saw Spock try to erase it, or at least try to deny it.

“Come on, Spock,” Kirk goaded. “Admit it.” He saw Spock’s denial again. “If not to me, then at least to yourself.”

“What would be the purpose of admitting such a theory? Why would I want to subject myself to such angst?”

“I believe you already know the answer to that one,” Kirk answered softly. “I believe it’s why you couldn’t do the Kolinar. I believe it’s why you required the presence of Dr. McCoy and myself before you could function again.”

“And what would be that purpose? I do not understand--”

“Yes, you do! You need us, Spock! You need us in your life. You cannot do without us. We mean life to you!”

Spock bit his lips together and looked down.

Kirk grabbed Spock by his arms. “It’s not a failing! It’s a blessing!”

Spock looked up with tears in his eyes. “To need people?”

“Yes! Oh, my beautiful friend; yes! It’s all the platitudes! No man is an island! People who need people are lucky! All the clichés! They are true, Spock! They are true!” He shook the Vulcan. “You need us. And the beauty of it? We need you right back. You, Spock, you! So very, very much.”

“I do not know--”

“Yes, you do. You couldn’t do the Kolinar because you'd be leaving us behind. Don’t deny us any longer. We three can only function together. McCoy, cussed as he is to you, is essential to you. And he still needs you. He's in terrible turmoil. Save him, Spock. You’re the only one who can.”

“I, I do not know if I can.”

“I know that you have doubts. And even if you do find some sort of peace between you and McCoy, there are no guarantees that it will last. But what will you have if you turn your back on us now? The only way for you is forward. Because, if you turn your back on us now, you would always wonder. Don’t do that to yourself, Spock. You won’t like yourself very much if you do. It would be more of what you’re feeling right now, only worse. At least try. You’ll hate yourself, otherwise.”

Kirk searched the troubled face of the Vulcan while Spock thought Kirk’s advice through. At last, Spock looked up and began to search the crowd.

“Where is Dr. McCoy?”

Kirk straightened and released Spock’s arms. “Probably getting some well earned sleep. He hasn’t slept well since you disappeared.”

“Really?”

“Really. Nor has he been eating very well, either. His mind seemed to be on other things, instead of the care and nourishment of his own body. That‘s why he looks so deteriorated.” Kirk gave him his best flirty look. “And what are you going to do about it?”

Spock frowned in thought. 

 

“Well, what do you think about that?” Kirk asked as he watched Spock disappearing toward the entrance, still searching the crowds for a glimpse of McCoy, just in case the doctor had for some reason hung around.

“About what, James?” Irene answered in his mind. “Do you believe that you deserve a well-earned pat on the back?”

“Well, yes. I was kind of hoping for one; yes.”

“Do not celebrate yet. It is not written in the stars that Dr. McCoy and Mr. Spock will be together. I suppose that is how you perceive the outcome of your recent discussion with the Vulcan? That he would rush into the waiting and willing arms of Dr. McCoy?“

“Well, yes,” Kirk agreed slowly, not feeling so confident now that he had performed a minor miracle by bringing Spock and McCoy together.

“Remember that those two gentlemen still function under the concept known as free choice. Even certain religions of your Earth believe and promote that idea. In their day, the gods and goddess on Mount Olympus could influence the dealings between Earthlings, it‘s true. I suppose we could have some power over Vulcans, if the deities were so inclined. But, ultimately, humans are in charge of their own destinies. No divine intervention can alter a person‘s life. We‘d like to be the authors of those scenarios for humans, but we cannot. You alone can be praised for success or blamed for failure.” She did a mental shoulder shrug. “Sorry.”

“There you went and burst that mythical bubble for me,” Kirk complained. “And I mean that in more than two ways, you have to understand.” His voice grew stern. “I know you are only a figment of my imagination. I know you aren’t real.”

“Oh, James,” she said with mirth in her voice. “I am so real to you. I will never leave you.”

“Now I suppose that I might as well admit myself to the next loony bin I see,” he muttered.

“Hardly. I am in the mind of all dreamers. And James T. Kirk, you are one of those dreamers. Mount Olympus will always live as long as there are dreamers like you in the universe. I am also the personification of the perfect woman to you. If I look, talk, and act like your mother, do not be alarmed. It does not mean that you are the reincarnation of Oedipus, the Greek who loved and married his own mother. I also have many qualities of Amanda Gray, Spock’s mother, and of Christine Chapel and Nyota Uhura and other women you have known and admired. I am a combination of those women. I am the ideal who does not, could not, ever exist. You may fall in love with many women, James, and they may disappoint you and even hurt you. Because they are not goddesses. But I will stay forever young, forever loyal, forever true.”

“I have you then. That’s great news. But have I cleaned up my karma sufficiently about the Spock and McCoy problem?”

“As well as you could have, James. Your karma, and therefore your future, should not be influenced adversely because of your interference with the romantic lives of your friends.”

Kirk looked smug.

“However, I will caution you to be more careful in the future.”

“I only did it because they are my friends, and I wanted them to be more at peace with themselves and with each other. My motives were pure.”

“I know they were, James. And you know I have a soft spot for you and your good intentions.”

“What can I say?” Kirk asked with his flirty look well in place. “If I couldn’t petition a lady whose very name means ‘peace,’ who else could’ve ever considered my plea?”

“That’s why I have that soft spot for you, James. You could charm the toga off any goddess, even the ferocious Diana, goddess of the hunt. How could a mere Irene possibly deny you?”

Kirk grinned. “That’s why I love you, Irene. You’re such a tease.”

“Just like you, James T. Kirk. Just like you.”

“Goddess of peace, huh? Are you sure that isn’t the goddess of p-i-e-c-e?”

“James! Really! Such a naughty boy!” But her voice didn’t sound that disapproving.

Kirk moved away with a pleased smile on his face, not noticing the puzzlement of others in the room. They did not understand the source of his satisfaction. Kirk was by himself. Wasn’t he?

“Oh, Irene. I am so happy that you are with me. I think that this is just the start of a beautiful friendship.”

“Oh, James T., please! Casablanca quotes?! Really!”

“Do I bore you, Irene?”

“Never, James T. Kirk.” Her voice was warm. “Never.”

Kirk laughed out loud, really causing puzzlement to his colleagues and Vulcans alike. They might’ve decided that he was planning out his next sexual conquest, and in a way he was. Just as soon as he could figure out how to fuck himself. Or in this case, his own mind. But if anyone could, that would be Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. After all, he was already halfway able to accomplish the feat. He had an edge that most people didn’t.

He was so in love with himself!

Yes, sir, Kirk thought with a sly wink to his inner being. Lube up, baby! You’re out there somewhere, my perfect love! I’ll find you yet!


	9. Chapter 9

The door whished open in McCoy’s quarters on the Enterprise. The room was semi-dark and filled with shadows.

McCoy raised his head off his pillow and squinted into the gloom. “Who is it? Who’s there? Jim, is that you?”

“Spock.”

“Oh. I wondered. Not too many people are still on board. And, not too many people can override my lock. Just Jim and--“ He couldn’t bring himself to say it.

“Me. Where are you? Answer, or I will have the lights turned up. I know that can be disconcerting if your eyes are accustomed to the dark.“

“Thanks for the consideration.” He was quiet a moment. “If it’s any of your business, I’m on the bed, lying down. Trying to sleep!“ he growled pointedly.

“Jim said you might be. He said you have had difficulty sleeping lately.“

“Jim talks too much,“ McCoy grumbled. Then he remembered to ask, “What do you want here, anyway?”

“To make sure you are okay.”

“That’s what I’m supposed to be finding out about you! We came here to rescue you, you know!”

“I am okay.”

“I’ll be the judge of that, you pointed eared--”

Then came silence.

“Doctor? Dr. McCoy? Are you alright?”

A muffled “Yes” finally answered him.

All was silence for several minutes. Then McCoy could hear Spock moving around in his quarters.

“What are you doing in here?!”

“I said that I came to make sure myself that you are okay.”

“And I said I was! Has something gone wrong with your Vulcan hearing?! Has it gone from supersonic to nothing?!” He moved as Spock set something on the table beside his bed. “What’s that?! What did you just set down?!”

“Just some hot chocolate. Nothing lethal, I can assure you. You brought some to me once. Remember?”

“Better than you, apparently,” McCoy grumbled. “It was candy. And it wasn’t hot. And it wasn’t liquid.”

“There was another time. Years ago. At Starfleet Academy.”

“Really? I guess I’ve forgotten. Well, just leave it there. I’ll drink it later, maybe. Why did you bring it?”

“To give you nourishment and a treat. But now that I see you, I realize that you also need the fluid.”

“No, I don’t. I’ll be alright.”

“I beg to differ. Crying leeches moisture from the system.”

McCoy sat up, his eyes blazing. “Crying?! Who is crying?!”

“You are, Doctor. And I will not take any contradictions about the situation or any arguments about your present circumstances.”

McCoy was slightly in awe of the firmness in Spock’s voice. “Oh, well, alright. Have it your own way, then.” He looked aside and grumbled, “You generally do.”

“That’s better. Now, why don’t you just lie back and rest?”

“I don’t need a nursemaid!” He looked back at Spock and saw that there was going to be no arguing with that stern face and crossed arms. “Oh, alright!” he said as he slammed himself down onto his pillows. “There! Satisfied?!”

“Not until you are asleep.”

“How can I be drinking that hot chocolate if I am sleeping?!”

“You will do both.”

“How in the hell am I supposed to be doing both?!”

“Are you trying to be difficult?” Spock countered in a steely voice. “I can assure you that behavior like that will get you nowhere.”

“And I can assure YOU, that if I try to do BOTH at ONCE, I will DROWN in my SLEEP!”

Spock almost allowed himself to laugh. The corners of his mouth had definitely twitched. “Then I will not require you to do both at once, Doctor. Drink the hot chocolate first. Here. I will help you.”

And he did. Before McCoy could protest, Spock perched on the bed behind McCoy, gathered him in his arms, and raised him so that McCoy’s back was leaning against Spock’s chest. 

“What the hell! I don‘t remember saying I was a doll that needed to be cuddled!“

“Shut up, Doctor. And drink!“

And McCoy had to comply before he was drown while awake, because hot chocolate started heading his way.

For talking so gruffly, Spock was amazing gentle as he carefully poured the hot drink into McCoy’s mouth.

McCoy didn’t know which felt better: the narcotic chocolate flowing down his throat and giving him energy, or the fact that he was in Spock’s arms.

"That is delicious hot chocolate, Spock."

"It is a special blend of Swiss chocolates with just a hint of Brazilian mountain coffees. It does exude a pleasing aroma."

"Well, be my guest, then. You have to at least sample a drink that is very satisfying," McCoy offered, knowing that Spock would decline. It did, after all, have coffee in it. And, there would be the backwash from McCoy's drinking.

Then McCoy got another surprise. Spock not only took a drink; he did not even bother to wipe the rim of the cup. Wow!

"I don't understand--"

"What, Doctor? What do you not understand?"

"You drank after me. And without wiping off the rim of the cup. Aren't you afraid of germs?"

"I am not afraid of you, Doctor."

"Germs! Not me! My germs!"

"There are many ways to transfer germs from you to me, Doctor. If I am not afraid of one way, why should I fear any other?"

"I see. I think," McCoy said in confusion. The burning question now, of course, was what were the other ways to transfer germs to each other?

"You are letting your hot chocolate cool, Doctor. Now, I must insist. Drink!"

"Oh, okay," McCoy agreed absently. Then he added because he thought he should to hide his sudden embarrassment, "Damn pushy Vulcan!"

Spock finally set the empty cup aside on the table and wiped McCoy’s lips gently with a napkin. “Feel better?” he asked softly.

“Yes. Thank you. I do. Look, ah, I'm going to say something before I lose my nerve. So, do you think you could just sit there and listen to me for a moment? Without making some sort of wise-ass remark before I finish?"

Spock took a deep breath and looked out across the room. "I can promise that, as long as you refrain from saying something so utterly idiotic that only a wise-ass remark could possibly be appropriate."

"Thank you." He frowned. "I think." His frown deepened. "It's just that, well, this is hard to say. Look. This is the deal. Spock, I’m glad you’re going to be back with us on the Enterprise. It hasn’t been the same without you. There. I said it. Please don't pick my carcass clean.” 

“Why would I do that? You are right, Doctor."

McCoy frowned. "I am?"

"It was wrong of me to leave. I can see the error in my decision to do that.”

“I’ve been so lonesome for you. I couldn‘t sleep.”

“Do you want me to stay with you now? So that you could sleep again?”

“Please.”

“Do you want me to lie down with you? So you will not feel lonesome?”

“Please.”

McCoy made room for Spock on the pillows, and they lay side by side after Spock pulled the covers up over them.

McCoy breathed deeply in contentment. Now, he could sleep. He was sure of it. If only the damn Vulcan didn’t leave on some crazy venture again!

“Doctor?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you want me to put my arms around you? My body heat can make you feel warmer and will aid with your sleeping.”

Oh, wow! McCoy thought. All that, and cuddling, too?! Wow!

“Please.”

They lay that way a few minutes with McCoy snuggled in the circle of Spock‘s arms. McCoy didn’t know whether to sleep or stay awake. Either seemed like a good option.

“Doctor?”

“Hmm?”

“May I change the location of my hands to a location somewhat lower on your body?”

“You mean the hands that are around my waist now?”

“Yes. Those hands.”

Spock moved before he got permission, though. He was too eager. And McCoy was too willing.

Now Spock’s hands rode low below McCoy’s navel. If only those magical hands would travel just a little bit further south. Then McCoy would be in his idea of a sensual heaven.

“Doctor?”

“Hmm?”

The hands were twitching in anticipation. “Do you want me to--”

“Please!” he yelled as he turned to claim Spock's lips as Spock's hands swooped downward.

McCoy awoke with a start and cursed himself. Hell! He was in his semi-dark quarters aboard a nearly deserted Enterprise. And he had been having another of THOSE kinds of dreams again.

Why did it always have to be just a dream? Why couldn’t he ever admit his true feelings to the real Spock so that his secret desires could come true? Why was it only his mind that ever saw any action? Although the way he felt South of the Border now, there were parts of him that were keeping up with his dreams. 

But soon that region would be disappointed. 

Again. 

And lose interest. 

Again.

And then a knock sounded on his door.

McCoy sat up in bed. What the hell?! Had he anticipated? No. Couldn’t be. Surely his had been only a wishful dream, not a premonition.

Of course it was Spock standing in the doorway, and of course he had brought food and drink with him.

McCoy frowned. Premonition? Nah!

“I have brought nourishment.”

“Oh?” Such sterling conversation, McCoy thought as he chided himself. He had waited how many weeks for just such a private meeting with Spock, and now McCoy was as good as tongue tied.

“May I come in?”

“Of course. What do you have there?” McCoy asked, looking down at the covered tray in Spock’s hands. McCoy tried to act nonchalant. He couldn’t let Spock know how glad he was to see him. McCoy wanted to protect whatever elements of tattered pride that he had left. He didn’t want to appear as rattled as he felt.

“Hot herbal tea and blueberry scones with clotted cream and strawberry jam. I considered bringing some shirred eggs, but I wanted to see how this food was received first. This type of food might be more easily digested, although I believe that eggs are also on an invalid‘s diet.”

“I am not an invalid!” McCoy snapped, sounding like his old self.

“I am sorry that I implied that, Doctor.”

Spock apologized?! Maybe McCoy shouldn’t be so grumpy. “I hope you brought that food for yourself,” McCoy muttered, turning away.

“No, Doctor, I brought it for you,” Spock stated emphatically. 

McCoy turned back and frowned at the stern looking Vulcan.

“And you will partake, Doctor.”

“Charming as ever, aren’t you?” McCoy glanced at the tray. “Who could resist something so soothingly offered?”

“Doctor, I do not understand your sarcasm, but it will not deter me.”

“Well, you haven’t been exactly responsive to us, either. I‘ve seen heartier welcomes from flunking freshmen during finals week at college. You know, finals are a necessary evil to the eventual reward of a college diploma, and so they have to be endured. Is that what is going on here?! Jim and I are a necessary evil?! Yesterday, when we got here, you and your father seemed to be having a pissing contest to see which of you could act more juvenile. That‘s not the way to warm the cockles of anyone‘s heart, especially guys who were showing up to help you.”

“You believe that I looked upon the arrival of Jim and you as something I did not want, but had to endure if I was to thrive?”

“That‘s the impression you made; yes.”

“Perhaps I was just angry with myself for being unable to undergo Kolinar.”

“Well, whatever the reason, you came off rather flat to us. It impressed me so much that I am very willing to return the sentiment. I will try to help you to readjust to your new life in a way that only I can provide and that you can understand. I will act the way that you will appreciate. I will help where I professionally can, otherwise I will avoid you,” he said as he lay down again and turned his back on his visitor. “Goodbye, Mr. Spock. Just leave the food on the table over there. I’ll try it after I rest some more. You‘ve done your good deed. Now, go away.” He made a shooing motion in the air with his upper hand.

The sounds of a tray being set on the indicated table were heard. A moment of quietness ensued, and McCoy assumed that Spock had obeyed his request to leave by stealthily moving toward the door. McCoy waited to hear the double whish that meant that the door had opened and closed. He prepared to close his eyes and shut out the world. He hoped he slept forever. 

Then McCoy felt the springs of his bed go down behind him.

McCoy turned halfway back. “What are you doing?!”

“Be quiet, Doctor. I am lying down beside you.”

“Correction,” McCoy muttered as he turned on his side away from Spock. “You are lying down behind me.”

“Be that as it may, I am here, and I am staying.”

“Stubborn Vulcan,” McCoy muttered.

“What?”

“You heard me! You with your Vulcan hearing! And with all of your other Vulcan super powers! Why don’t those powers include some human ones like sensitivity?! And compassion?! And empathy?!”

“I admit that I am lacking in some of your human traits, Doctor.”

“Damned straight, you are!”

“Sometimes I believe that I am the deprived one without those feelings.”

Spock was being contrite? Maybe he could use some encouragement himself.

“Oh, well, sometimes you do alright, too,” McCoy offered.

“Really?”

“Yes.” After a few quiet moments, McCoy said, “I’ll be alright. Really. You can leave at anytime. You‘ve done your good deed,“ he snapped. Damn! He hadn’t meant that to sound as snarky as it sounded.

“I will stay,” Spock said in a firm voice. “And I will stay on the Enterprise.”

“Good,” McCoy mumbled. “Now, let me get some rest.”

“And I will stay in this bed. Until I, and I emphasis I, am ready to leave it.“

Wow!

“Suit yourself,“ McCoy managed to make himself mumble.

“Damned straight,” Spock muttered, and McCoy grinned, in spite of himself.

Spock continued to lie behind McCoy. It was strangely comforting, yet disconcerting, too. How long could this stalemate last?

McCoy found himself relaxing and drifting off into sleep for the first time in weeks. All it had taken was the presence of the Vulcan and the assurance that he would be with all of them again on the Enterprise.

Then Spock turned on his side toward McCoy and aligned himself with McCoy‘s body. McCoy closed his eyes. Only a few mere inches separated them. If either moved much, they would be spooning. The space between them vibrated with electricity.

“Are you still alright, Doctor?”

Unfeeling bastard! Doesn‘t he have any idea what he‘s doing to me?! “Yes,” McCoy managed to mumble.

“Try to sleep.”

“I can’t. I’m tired, but I’m not sleepy.”

“You probably need to feel protected and comforted. Perhaps this would help.” And before McCoy realized what was happening, Spock had placed his hand on McCoy’s arm. The touch electrified McCoy‘s whole body.

McCoy tried not to shudder from the contact. Surprisingly, the touch did soothe him. After he had gotten over the initial surprise, that is. He breathed deeply in contentment.

“That is it. Just relax, Doctor. And sleep.”

How in the hell was he supposed to relax and sleep when the damned Vulcan practically had him in his arms?! Everything in his body clamped down on itself.

“You are tense.”

Damned right, he was tense! McCoy wanted to bite the inside of his nearest wrist. That’s how tense he was.

Spock drew his arm further around McCoy, clamped his hand over McCoy’s, and scooted closer. Spock‘s body nestled snugly against the doctor’s from McCoy’s shoulders to his ankles. Spock‘s breath blew soft and warm on McCoy‘s neck. “Better?” he murmured.

Holy shit! Now they were spooning!

The warmth from Spock’s body was palpable and soothing, but McCoy wasn’t about to admit that. But the idea of what was going on, not the contact, made McCoy tense his muscles with an unconscious reflex.

Spock felt the jerk and tensed himself. “Do you want me to leave?”

Yes!

No.

“No,” McCoy answered. He felt Spock relax. “It’s okay if you stay.”

“Then I will. It is so comfortable being here with you.” Spock settled in again and pressed himself closer against McCoy’s back. The fit was a marvel of nature. It was if they had been made for each other.

McCoy squeezed his eyes shut. It took a moment before he could adjust much to the fact that the Vulcan was actually embracing him. Then he could finally relax again. 

“Why?” he needed to know. He knew he might ruin whatever was developing between them, but he had to know. “Why do you want to stay? With me?”

“So I will know that you are safe. And comfortable. And recuperating.”

“Oh?” McCoy hadn’t been expecting that answer.

“Yes, Doctor.” Then there was hesitation, actual hesitation, in the Vulcan’s voice. “I have been worried about you.”

McCoy frowned. He had never heard that note of uncertainty in Spock‘s voice before, an uncertainty that involved McCoy. “You have been worried? About me?”

“Yes.”

McCoy turned slightly toward Spock. “But, why?”

“When I saw you again, I saw that you were not well.”

McCoy turned back to his original position. “Don‘t worry about it. Maybe I’ve had a bug.”

“You have lost weight. Your eyes do not shine. They are not as deep a blue as usual. You do not smile.” 

“Maybe I haven’t felt like smiling. Illness does that to a person.”

“The deterioration of your body did not just happen. It is apparent that this condition has been ongoing for some time.”

“Like I said, maybe I’ve had a bug.”

“Nor does influenza last so long. Death would have occurred, if you had been suffering from influenza for this length of time. Your bodily processes would have been seriously compromised, and you would not have been able to have maintained a suitable viability of life.”

“Since when are you the doctor around here?!”

“It does not require someone to possess a medical degree to see that you are suffering a severe malady.”

“And what is your learned diagnosis, Dr. Spock?” McCoy asked with a tired sigh. “What is my problem?”

“Your heart is sick.”

McCoy could almost grin at the diagnosis. “You’ve got that right.”

“Why? Why is your heart sick?”

“If you don’t know, I’m not going to try to explain it to you. You wouldn‘t understand it, anyway. You aren‘t hardwired that way. It involves, you know, emotions. You know, those nasty things you don‘t want to admit to having. You have no basis for understanding someone like me and what ails me.”

“You underestimate me, Doctor. I am more sensitive to your condition than you might have imagined. Is it because you have missed me?”

McCoy screwed his eyes shut. “What makes you say that?” he tried to say lightly. “How could you have even come up with something like that?”

“Because you called to me.”

“What?”

“You called me. I heard you.”

“You did?”

“That was why I could not do the Kolinar. You were in my head.”

“Now you know what I went through when you set up housekeeping in my brain.”

“You did not ‘set up housekeeping’ in my brain. You called to me. There is a difference. But it was still disconcerting.”

“Like I say, now you know what I went through. Miserable, wasn’t it?”

“I did not say that it was unpleasant.”

An impossible hope sprang into McCoy’s heart. He fought back a grin that he could barely control. “Oh?”

“I want you to stop.”

McCoy was crushed. He felt worse than before. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You must try.”

“How can I control something I didn’t even know I was doing?!”

“That is correct. I forget that you are not Vulcan.”

“Right now, that seems more of a plus than ever.”

“You must try to learn to control it.”

McCoy was stabbed to the heart. “Okay. I’ll try to make my mind a blank.”

“I would appreciate it.”

“And I would appreciate it if you would leave now, and let me get started wiping you from my consciousness. Do you know where I can sign up for this Kolinar that you‘re always touting? That well might be the quickest way I could forget you.”

“Why do you want to do that? I did not ask you to forget me.”

“Then, what in the hell do you want?! I’m sorry. I didn’t phrase that correctly. My only trouble is, I don’t know what to say or do around you anymore. I don‘t know what you need from me. And I sure as hell don‘t want to piss you off so you‘ll leave us again. I doubt if Jim could go through that angst again.”

“Yes, I noticed that JIM is showing an alarming variety of health issues. His body has been under quite a large amount of stress, apparently.“

“Noticed that, did you?“

“While you, on the other hand, are the very picture of health and vigor.“

McCoy sighed. “Okay. I’ll admit it. I’m the one who couldn’t go through the angst if you left again. Me! It’s me! Not Jim! Happy?! Since when are you the spokesperson for sarcasm, anyway?“ he grumbled.

“Since you quit being it.“

“I didn’t quit. It didn’t seem worth the effort. Nobody appreciated it the way you did.“

“I appreciated your sarcasm?“

“Alright! You understood my sarcasm! Better?!“

“Jim understood it as much as I did. I just called you on it.”

“Yeah,” McCoy said wistfully.

“Forget that until you are better.“

McCoy couldn‘t help grinning. “And I’m a more worthy opponent?“

“Something like that; yes. Right now, you must think only of getting your strength back. You must first rest. Then I will bring you more food.”

“Food?”

“Yes. You must eat. Meats on whole wheat sandwiches. Baked sweet potatoes. I understand that the ship has acquired an unusually excellent eating apple. Good food will help you immensely.”

“You need to eat, too! You‘re so skinny that your shadow would disappear if you stood sideways!”

“How droll. Alright, I will eat, also. I will bring enough sweet potatoes for two. And fruit. And good bread. It is surprising how hungry this is making me to think about food for you. I believe that I, too, will be able to eat after we rest.”

“You haven’t been able to eat, either? Or sleep?” For some reason, that pleased McCoy that he and Spock had suffered with the same physical problems.

“My health is not your problem, Doctor.”

“Why not? You’re still my patient, aren’t you?”

“Well, I suppose. I had not sought out a Vulcan doctor. It did not seem necessary. You have been my doctor for so long now that I never considered anyone else for consultation.”

“Damn right! And don’t you forget it!”

“And who is your doctor, Dr. McCoy?”

“Oh, the medical staff on the Enterprise, I suppose.”

“While you are here on Vulcan, I will be your doctor.”

“Really?”

“I have been your doctor many times before.”

“You have saved my life many times before. When other people had almost given up on me, you pulled me through.”

“That is because you are sometimes careless with yourself, Doctor.”

“I am?!”

“Lie quietly. Do not stir. Do not argue. Doctor knows best.”

McCoy grinned to himself. Spock was being lighthearted? That made him feel lighthearted, also.

“Potatoes for two. Great eating apples,” McCoy mused. “After we rest. You sound like we’re in this together.”

“We are. We have missed each other. We have hurt each other. Therefore, it is only logical that we can only heal together.”

Wow! McCoy hadn’t expected Spock to say something like that! He could sure go from lighthearted to serious fast.

But McCoy did not know if he could perform in the impersonal manner that Spock would require of him. “I don’t know if I can do all of these things with you if you’re wanting to get rid of me later.”

“When did I say that?”

“You’re wanting me to make my mind a blank, so I’ll stop bothering you.”

“I wanted you to make your mind a blank so you would stop hurting. You misunderstood my intentions. I cannot stand to see you hurting yourself. If you and Jim would not have come here, then I would have had to have gone back to the Enterprise to beg you to stop.”

“To stop, so I wouldn’t hurt myself?”

“That is true.”

“Not because I was bothering you?”

“If you are hurting, what does it matter if I am being bothered?”

“Because--”

“Because?”

“Because that’s how it works.”

“What do you mean, Doctor?”

“I don’t want you to be hurting, either. And that‘s what it amounts to if you were going through some torment.”

“Really?”

“If you like someone, you want the best for them. And that includes peace of mind and happiness.”

“I see.” Spock thought. “That is why you could not sleep? Or eat?”

“I suppose.”

Spock put pressure on McCoy’s arm. “We can talk of this later when you are rested. Now, sleep,” he ordered.


	10. Chapter 10

But, of course, McCoy could not sleep. Not with a hot, sexy Vulcan barely inches away. He was very aware of Spock’s body so close to his. So near, and yet so far. And he could not comprehend the meaning of the claw on his arm. So impersonal, yet so possessive. Sheltering, but aloof. He wondered what it would be like to snuggle against Spock’s body and to feel that body respond to him. He wondered if Spock would embrace him if he would put his hand out in supplication and asked for comfort and compassion, one being to another.

This situation of being so close in contact but so impersonal in spirit was impossible for McCoy to maintain. He was, after all, only human, and his human body was responding to the touch of another body. And as good as that body felt against his, McCoy wanted more. His mind did an inventory of the parts of Spock’s body that were pressed against his back. Spock might indeed be an alien, but his body parts matched McCoy’s in all areas. Their bodies were compatible. It was their minds that differed. But their bodies, oh, their bodies, were getting along just fine.

In fact, too fine. He could feel faint stirrings in his nether regions and wondered how Spock was managing to keep his primitive bodily urges under control. And then, McCoy realized with a grin, he knew that Spock was losing that battle. There was no mistaking that pressure against his hip. Wow! Who would’ve thought?!

Oh, boy! Was all of that meant for little, ol’ Leonard?! he wondered.

Control yourself, McCoy. Don’t startle the Vulcan. He could still scatter like a wild rabbit on Ritalin. All you’d have left would be a meandering path marked by little, round pellets smelling suspiciously like fermented clover. Let Spock set the pace here. He’s done pretty well so far. Don’t rock the boat. You might just get to reap the heady rewards of consoling a penitent Vulcan in your forgiving arms. You could do that, couldn't you, McCoy? Stay calm. Stay steadfast. And steady.

That sound advice worked only so long, then McCoy could stand it no longer. These half-measures that were supposedly intended to soothe and comfort him were, instead, torturing him. He needed more contact. He rolled onto his back and then not breaking his motion, he continued twisting. He landed on his other side which pushed him snugly against Spock’s chest. Spock’s hand that had been on his arm traveled on its own volition to the small of McCoy’s back. Spock was virtually embracing McCoy. 

They lay there a moment not moving. When Spock didn’t seem to object to McCoy‘s nearness, McCoy gave in to what he most wanted to do to find more comfort. He rooted his face into Spock’s chest and took a deep sniff of Spock‘s unique scent. This was it. This was wonderful. McCoy sighed in contentment. A memory of something, from somewhere, came to McCoy. He did not remember doing this before, but it seemed so familiar, so wonderful, so perfect. Now, maybe he could sleep with the smell of that strange mixture of aromas that could only be Spock perfuming his world.

Spock seemed almost stiff and not breathing, but he didn’t push McCoy away. After another moment of no rejection from Spock, McCoy slid his hand up and placed it on Spock’s bicep. Now he was embracing Spock, too. McCoy waited to see if Spock would reject either intimacy from him.

So far, so good.

Spock still was not breathing, though.

“Breathe, damn you!" McCoy muttered. "I‘m not trying to kill you! What the hell do you think you’re doing?! I don‘t want you dead from asphyxiation!”

McCoy felt the Vulcan’s chest begin to rise and fall.

“That’s better!” McCoy grumbled. “Damn idiot!”

But something still felt off. It was still Spock in his arms. Spock, who always held him at a distance emotionally. Spock, who let him get only so close. Spock, who always had to have the upper hand, and always succeeded in having it. Spock, who could, and probably would, hurt him again. 

It was a question of not if, but when. And then it would hurt so much. Again. Could he really take that? Again? This was, after all, Spock. Spock, who simply because he was Spock, had little understanding and consideration for human emotions and certainly no tolerance of them. Spock had no empathy for humans in general and McCoy in particular. Earthlings were so inferior to Vulcans. Or at least that was Spock’s thinking.

“This isn’t right.” McCoy stiffened and started to push away from Spock. “I can’t do this. I‘m sorry that I assumed something that isn‘t true. I‘ll not bother you anymore. I‘ll leave you alone. I don't need any more comforting.” 

But Spock’s hand at the small of McCoy’s back didn’t release its hold and allow McCoy his freedom. Instead, the hand traveled up to McCoy’s opposite shoulder blade and pulled McCoy tightly against himself. There was no mistaking the situation now. McCoy was very much in Spock’s embrace with very little wiggle room. Now, it was McCoy who was in danger of being asphyxiated by Spock's crushing arms.

Puzzled, McCoy looked up at Spock. “I don’t understand.”

“Do not leave me.”

McCoy frowned in amazement. He had the choice of staying or leaving? When had McCoy gotten control of this situation? When had his wants and needs become essential? He needed some things clarified. These new boundaries had to be spelled out for him.

“What?” he managed to croak.

“Do not leave me as I left you.” Spock pulled McCoy’s head back down to his chest and tucked it against himself. His hand seemed to be shaking against McCoy‘s skull, as if he considered that McCoy might be the one to cast him aside. In fact, Spock’s whole body seemed to be trembling, McCoy noticed.

“What‘s wrong?” McCoy asked puzzled.

“You were right. Everything you said is true. I should not have questioned your wisdom. It has happened just as you predicted it would.”

“What did I say?” McCoy asked, bewildered. He had said so many things down through the years. A lot of it was uttered when he was so wrapped up in his own emotion that he didn’t remember sometimes just what he had declared. Apparently, it must have been a humdinger of a statement he’d made to Spock at some time. The Vulcan was positively beside him with fear. What could McCoy have possibly said that would cause such primal dread in an otherwise unflappable person?

“You said that I was going to make a mistake someday, and that it would be a really big one. You only hoped that when I went to apologize, that the other person would be more forgiving of me than I had been with you.”

Oh, yeah, McCoy remembered that conversation now. Spock had stood there like the unfeeling ass he could be while McCoy had spilled his guts to him. McCoy had felt sillier by the moment. Any decent person would’ve stopped him and accepted his awkward apology and would’ve helped him salvage a little of his pride. But not Spock.

Now Spock was spilling his guts in front of McCoy. McCoy was just going to lie back and watch Spock‘s entrails run every which way. Didn’t McCoy deserve that display of self-flagellation from Spock?

“You said you hoped for my sake, that it would never happen,” Spock said with pain crossing his face. “But for your sake, you hoped it did. You wanted me to know how it felt not to be forgiven.” Spock swallowed hard and breathed through his open mouth. All of his stoicism was gone. “Well, it has happened. I cannot live with this pain. I did not know that I could hurt so badly.”

Oh, hell. How could McCoy not answer that appeal? Even after what Spock had put him through? But, while McCoy was composing a soothing speech, Spock continued.

“Do not hurt me as I hurt you,” Spock continued. “Be kinder to me than I have been to you. Let me stay with you.” His lips touched the top of McCoy’s head. It was a kiss. Spock had actually kissed him! McCoy had felt the lips pucker. 

“Please,” Spock whispered.

All thoughts of revenge and being right and making the Vulcan suffer flew out the window. Only one thing was important to McCoy now. Yeah, the apology was wonderful and heartfelt and needed to be addressed, but McCoy wanted to explore something else that he thought that Spock was also saying.

McCoy pulled back his head and felt a grin tugging at his lips as he looked up into Spock’s contrite face. “You mean?”

“Yes, Leonard, I do.” His face looked worried. “Is that agreeable to you?”

“Oh, yes,” McCoy breathed.

Such a brilliant look of relief flowed across Spock’s face. McCoy had forgiven him! And, oh, yeah, he had said, too, that it was okay if Spock loved him.

McCoy, for his part, was just a little stunned by the proceedings. Hell! A lot stunned! The Vulcan loved him?! Wow! The Vulcan was IN love with him?! Double wow! Wow! After all of the angst and all of the worrying and all of the supercharged innuendoes between them down through the years, it had come down to a baker’s dozen words?! And rather sedate words, at that?! No grandiose statements? No ripped open shirts? No breasts beaten bloody? Just thirteen words?! Triple wow! Wow! Wow!

McCoy knew he should just shut up and leave well enough alone now. Things were going so well with Spock. McCoy just needed to know, though, how they had gotten to this stage. There they were, together, in a darkened room, in a bed, in each others' arms. With Spock not only allowing the situation, but apparently liking it, wanting it, and even encouraging any physical developments between them. Maybe, even starting it!

Wow! What did that all include, McCoy wondered. He was having trouble wrapping his mind around all of this new information and potential possibilities.

And there always was the crazy possibility that he was dreaming again. If that was the case, he would never have any hope for anything else again. The disappointment would just be too great. Because this experience of being encased in Spock’s arms was too wonderful not to be real.

McCoy had all sorts of questions, but he asked the one that he thought might sum up most of his puzzlement.

“I thought you said before you left that your decision to do Kolinar had nothing to do with me. How could you look me straight in the face at that time and tell me a lie like that, if you knew it wasn’t true? I thought you couldn’t tell a lie.”

“I did worse than lying to you, Leonard, which was bad enough. I lied to myself. To be fair to myself, though, I thought I was telling you the truth. I deceived myself about my true feelings, and they only came to light after I reached Vulcan. Only then did heartache and anguish set in, and I realized that the cause was that I was separated from my friends and from the people I loved. From Jim.” He paused, then continued because he had to, not because he wanted to. “And from you. I was wrong.”

McCoy closed his eyes and realized that the Vulcan was telling him again that he loved him and had loved him all along. But more than that, McCoy realized what anguish the Vulcan had felt by not admitting that fact to himself. And at that moment, when McCoy’s heart should have been singing because the Vulcan was virtually coming to McCoy on his knees and humbly admitting a passion he could not control, McCoy was more concerned with comforting the Vulcan than any advantage he could now assume he had over the pointed-eared bastard. And it stunned McCoy to realize why he was more concerned about Spock than himself. It meant that he really loved the Vulcan back.

He was realizing so many other things, too. But right now only one thing seemed important to him. He needed to comfort Spock.

“It’ll be okay.” It seemed so inadequate.

“You do not understand what I did to you.“

The warmth McCoy was feeling in his heart could make him overlook many sins. He smiled in tolerance. “Just what do you think you did so wrong to me?“

“It was the way I have treated you. I have not been very nice, and you are very important to me. I am sorry if I ever made you feel otherwise.” 

McCoy stared up at Spock. This was huge! McCoy had to listen and understand and absolve. He had to be forgiving. It might hurt to watch Spock agonize, but it was important for Spock to say these things.

“I let you assume that everything you did toward me was wrong, and it was not. You reached out to me in friendship and more, but I could not let myself respond to you as I should have. And I was wrong, so wrong, to do that to you. I hurt you, and you did not deserve it.”

This was hurting even McCoy to hear. Spock was no longer stoic or unfeeling. He was actually suffering, agonizing about what he had done to McCoy.

“Spock, you don't--”

“No. Wait. Please. I do. I have to say these things. I made you think I did not want your kiss. You felt guilty for doing it. You apologized for kissing me. You acted as though you thought better of it and wished you had not done it.”

“I thought it was the best way to save us both from embarrassment. We should both act as if it was something silly that had happened when we were both intoxicated. Ha! Ha! Very funny. Go on from there.”

“But I should not have let you do any of that. That had to have hurt you so much. I should have trusted you. I should not have run away. I want you to know that I paid for it in misery. And I am sorry for what I did to you.”

“It’s alright, darlin,’” McCoy soothed. “You’re here with me now.”

“You can use a term of endearment to me after what I did?”

McCoy’s lips twitched in a grin. “Well, yeah!”

“But how? Why?”

“Oh, darlin,’ I can’t begin to explain,” McCoy answered with a contended sigh.

“But you have the advantage over me now. That was always so important to me, to make you feel inferior.”

“Somehow, it seems that I have you now. And I don’t know how that happened. I don‘t know exactly how I got so lucky, but I sure as hell am not going to argue about it,” McCoy whispered. “You’re here with me. That’s all that’s important to me. You’ve got your arms around me, and I think that there’s wonderful things ahead for us. I don‘t care who‘s got the advantage, just so we’re together.”

“Do you mean it?” Spock started, sounding almost as if he didn‘t believe McCoy.

A grin danced over McCoy‘s face. “Do you want to aim those marvelous lips a little lower so I can try my best to convince you just how serious I am?”

Joy leaped into Spock’s face as he happily bent to comply. When the Vulcan’s dry, warm lips gently brushed over his, it was one of the nicest sensations that McCoy had ever experienced. And when those lips pressed down a little more urgently on his and stayed a little longer, McCoy knew for sure.

“Oh, darlin,’” McCoy murmured with a rush of breath when he finally got the chance. “That was so nice.”

Spock brushed across McCoy’s lips again, and McCoy could stand it no longer. He grabbed Spock’s head and pressed him firmly down against himself.

“Oh, yeah!” McCoy affirmed when he surfaced and found he could breathe again. “That’s more like it!”

Spock pulled back and gazed down at him in wonder.

McCoy winked up at him as he felt sleepy at last. “Again? Please?” He smiled and let Spock see his own joy. “Darlin‘?”

The stars turned on in Spock’s eyes. “Whatever you wish, Doctor.” He started to lower his head again.

McCoy placed his hand on Spock’s chest. “Before we really get started and I forget even my own name, I think I need to make myself clear on something. Not that I want to stop you when you’re doing so well, because it’s, well, YOU, doing it, and all. And I’m still not exactly sure how this all came about, mind you.”

Spock began running two fingers along McCoy’s fingers and seemed very intent on what he was doing. McCoy knew it was Vulcan kissing, and he could tell by Spock‘s face that it was giving Spock infinite pleasure. And McCoy seemed to be getting something from it himself. Perhaps, it was just empathy for Spock‘s feelings. Whatever it was, bring on more of it!

“And, as I said, I’m sure as hell not fighting it any, though!” McCoy continued. “And I don’t want to complain any, ‘cause you’re doing damned good. But do you think you could put a little bit more enthusiasm in your next kiss?”

Spock stopped his finger stroking and gave McCoy a questioning look.

“Could you put a little more zing into it, darlin‘? Make it a little bit more demanding? Maybe a little bit bruising? I won’t break, you know. Tenderness has its place and all, but I want to be manhandled by you a little. Act like you had to fight your way past dragons to get to me. Then act like I’m being hard to get. Make that fantasy come true for me. Know what I mean?” 

Spock gave McCoy a quizzical look, as if he didn’t quite believe what McCoy was saying.

McCoy winked up at Spock and grinned. “Give me some real lovin‘, my sweet hobgoblin! Because you are my sweet hobgoblin. Make it hot and sweaty in here for me. Rough me up a little. Just don‘t be passive. Don‘t ignore me. I promise not to ignore you. I‘ve got a lifetime of loving stored up, waiting here just for you.” His glance deepened as he gazed up into Spock‘s face and gave him an unblinking look. “I‘m here, if I‘m what you want. If I am, convince me that you really want to stay with me. And I swear that I will never leave you, my sweet, sweet hobgoblin. Because you are all that I have ever wanted, and ever will want. Believe me, darlin.’” Then he used their magic word. “Please.”

Spock stared at him impassively a moment longer, then a wicked grin spread over his beautifully ugly face. It was as if the alien had suddenly realized the world of possibilities that had just opened up for him, and them. 

To McCoy, it was like watching the mechanism of a fine Swiss clock working to see Spock concede what really wasn’t a concession after all.

“Well?” McCoy asked with a hopeful smile.

“Shut up, Doctor,” Spock growled with the wicked grin still on his face. “You talk too much.”

“Make me!“ McCoy challenged, then whispered. “Please, darlin.’ Make me.” His eyes got wicked. “And you can interpret that any way you wish.”

“Gladly!“ Then Spock made a dive for McCoy‘s lips.

McCoy should have made himself clearer quicker.

 

And Spock made all of McCoy’s dreams come true. It was hot and sweaty, mean and tender, filled with tears and curse words, joy and pain. They held each other, they beat on each other, they swore at each other, they loved each other. Spock had no idea of the range of emotions he could stir in McCoy, and he grew envious of McCoy’s depth of pleasure. So, during that magical night, McCoy began to educate Spock about emotion and the joy he could feel from the release of those emotions. 

Spock had not realized that it could be that way. But he learned that when he was with someone he loved and trusted, anything could happen. And Spock felt what he could only interpret as happiness. He realized that having someone to love does that for a human. And for Vulcans, too. 

He reached in his newfound eagerness for McCoy again.

And then McCoy made all of Spock’s dreams come true, too.

 

“So, now you guys are together.” Kirk looked at his two friends as they sat together on the sofa in his quarters, shoulder to shoulder, hands joined and gently stroking each others' fingers. They looked so relaxed and contended. His quarters felt normal again with Spock seated back in them once more. And McCoy’s joy was very evident. 

“I couldn’t be happier for the both of you.”

“Thank you, Jim,” Spock said. He who had always been so closed mouth seemed happy to share almost anything now. He traded a beautiful smile with his new partner. Leonard McCoy looked tired, but happy, and satisfied simply to gaze into Spock‘s eyes and let the Vulcan do all of their talking. 

Kirk frowned at their hands. Their motions had gotten more frantic in the last few moments. “Are you two making out right now on my sofa?”

McCoy grinned. “It’s the Vulcan equivalent of naked and sweaty sex, Jim. The beauty of it is that we can do it almost anywhere without offending anybody. But you what we're doing, don't you? Are we turning you on any?”

“I’m just watching your gymnastics with your fingers, waiting for the bones to start breaking. I‘ll have a bone knitter handy. Joints should start snapping any time now.”

“We only do that with Earthling sexual techniques, Jim.”

“I’m glad to know that much, Spock,” Kirk said.

“Leonard and I did not realize what we meant to each other until we were separated. But we could not go on without each other.” Spock looked at Kirk. “That kiss you witnessed apparently opened a psychic link between us that could not be denied. We felt incomplete and did not realize why.” He looked back at McCoy, and his eyes reaffirmed a vow he’d made before in private. “That will never happen again. The psychic bond is too strong between us.”

Kirk frowned. “But--” 

“James! Let it be!”

“Psychic link be damned, Irene! They just fell in love and didn’t know it until they shared their first kiss. Even then they wouldn’t admit it, though. But their bodies knew and rebelled. It’s just a matter of plain, old-fashioned lust. True love drew them back together. Nothing psychic about that.”

“James. Does it matter how it happened? As long as they are together, isn’t that the important thing?”

“Yes, Jim?” Spock asked as he and McCoy watched him in expectation. “You had an objection?”

Kirk looked at their happiness.

“Not really. It’s just wonderful, guys, about what‘s happened between you two. I think it‘s really great.” He mentally winked at Irene. “All the gods and goddesses on Mount Olympus must be smiling at you two now. And they‘re probably a little bit envious of your joy and happiness.”

Spock and McCoy sought out each others' eyes again, smiled at each other, and forgot all about Kirk’s presence and his puzzling babbling about the ancient Greek deities.

Irene winked back at Kirk, then gave him a flirty look.

Startled, Kirk flinched.

What in the hell had she meant by that look?!

“Yes, Jim? Is there a problem? Why are you looking so startled?”

“Nothing, Spock,” Kirk answered. “Nothing at all.”

But Jim Kirk wondered. Had he finally found the one female in the universe who intrigued him? The one whom he couldn’t outfox? The one whom he could worship? The one whom he could exalt above all of womanhood?

And did she really dwell in his mind?

He frowned. Was he really in love with himself?

Irene’s laughter tinkled like wind chimes rustled by a gentle breeze.

Oh, Jim Kirk! You fascinate me! You really do!

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing dealing with Star Trek, including story lines and/or characters.


End file.
